Me and my wife are been married for 2 years and knew each other for 3 years and we I have a 5 years old step son. I am in the military for 4 years now and this is the first time I got deployed and left my wife and son alone in a new place. The first month went well, and we talked everyday and night. Then she goes to her parents house around December and our marriage went down hill from there.
I started to noticing her actions towards me its kinda different when she got back from her parents house. I found out shes been cheating on me since that day. Is being deployed not hard enough she slept with a few guys. How did I found this out is pretty simple. I played the game of a cop. I started accusing her of cheating of me. I started to monitor our finance every day. When that day comes when she finally admit it to me that all of my accusations was true, and boy I was so devastated… Somewhat I don’t want her to tell me the truth.. She told me this 1 week ago and its still fresh. I am writing this because i don’t know what to do. And I am still in love with her. Our son doesn’t know what’s going on. I am so mad at her for doing this to us for destroying our family.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
Luke 6:35
35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
Firstly, it’s a good thing you decided to write about your troubles because it’s good that you’re not bottling it all up to the point where you feel as though you’ll explode. This is such a devastating ordeal to be experiencing but if I wanted you to know anything, it is that you’re not the only one in the world who is going through this particular heart break right now. Sometimes, it feels like you are the only one and that nobody will ever understand and it’s okay to feel like that because everyone suffers the same thing in different ways at times. I am honestly probably not even close to your age because I’m not married, nor do I have kids. I’m not even at a marrying age, but honestly, I don’t need to be because it simply takes a kind soul to step into your shoes to be able to understand or try to understand your pain. I don’t need to have gone through this to be able to give you advice because even imagining it is painful and so I’ll do my best to help you. It might be a naive approach, some might say, but most adults can’t think the way us youngsters can. It is such a shame that your wife had to do something like this, especially since you have a young child in the picture who you would’ve wanted both parents to love and raise. Although you feel like you don’t even want to hear the truth because it hurts so bad, living your life like a lie will never fail to haunt you. Although its too painful to accept, slowly and step by step, if you believe in God, thank him that the truth was unveiled. If you don’t believe in God, just thank the truth for revealing itself because honestly, in order to lead a happy life with your family, lies cannot be a part of it. Your anger and sadness is only natural and very predictable. If this is something that you guys can talk through and iron out over time, don’t stop fighting for this love. Even though right now you’re angry, just think about whether your wife is someone you want to lose. Think about whether things will be better for you if she was out of the picture and also consider your little boy and whether his life should continue without a mother. It’s very saddening that she did something like this but question why she did it. Was she lonely? Is she falling out of love? Was it just a spur of the moment thing? Does she regret it? Is she sorry? It’s such a tough ordeal but your priority should be that little boy. Think about whether this is something that will sort itself out or continue in future because if it’s the latter, out of personal experience, I hated my parents arguing and fighting and it made me so sad.. so just put him first. It’s okay if he doesn’t know now because if you guys can pull it together and sort it out if this marriage means anything to you both, then it will just be a bump in the road. But don’t let it continue until the point where he understands exact what’s going on. Love is a weird thing and it has many bumps in the road but it’s your job to choose whether you want to swerve those bumps together or continue the journey in another way. Sometimes people say that if you love two people at the same time, choose the second because if you really love the first, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second. Therefore, ensure that your wife is dedicated to this marriage and tell her that love shouldn’t be abused, especially in marriage. Love is a promise.
I wish you the best of luck and I hope this was of little help to you. You’re not alone.. Keep writing if needed and I’m sure many will help, myself included