It has been almost a year since I got married. The man that I married to is great person. He is caring, loving, and smart man. He love me with all his heart. We have been together for 10 years. He was not my first, he helped me got through the crazy first relationship. I am not sure if I fell in love the same way as he did. I am afraid to admit that I felt sad and he was there and i think I just settle with him. After 8 years together, he has changed and improved alot to keep me and make me happy. In the last couple years, we had a tough time where we fought, and wanted to break up. We started to see other people. He didnt like any of them, but I did met two guys. Brian is very good looking but a player and Joel is more mature and has a good job. As you know, many girls fall for player, I am one of them. I did hang out and slept with Joel. After hanging with Joel for awhile, I realized he is not my type and I had no hesitation to stop seeing him. However, I only hung out with Brian once with a group of my friends, the night wasnt that great. It was obvious that i was so shy and he didnt show any interest in me. We stopped talking for awhile then talked again until my boyfriend found out. The relationship between me and my boyfriend got worse and i was ready to move out. He still wanted to work things out and wanted another chance for us. I decide to come back and work thing out with my boyfriend. I stopped talking to Brian and Brian actually unfriended me on facebook. It actually helped me from see what Brian does. In 2014, my boyfriend and I decided to get married in summer 2014 after we had been engaged for more than 2 years. Everything went well, I was so happy and felt so in love with my husband. I decided to to back to school to finished my bachelor degree. In november 2014, i got a friend request alert and a message, it was Brian. I was surprise. I hesitated to accept him because i know i still like him and i dont know why. I decided to accept his request and sent message back to him. We started talking again. I know that is not right, i am married woman and i should not talk or flirt with other guy. I feel like i m a hypocrite, i judge other for cheating but i ended up doing the same thing. I flirted and talked alot with Brian. He seem more mature and different. Lately, I actually expressed my feeling for him and his response seems he s interested in me too. I didnt feel excited to known that he like me too but I am not sure he’s not serious with me because he knew I am married or he just being player as always. A player with sweet talk always get all girl that he want. Now, I realize i dont love my husband as I should as he does with me. I feel terrible, i know i m horrible, stupid person. There are many women out there that crave for the man like my husband who’s not romantic or sweet talk but caring, loving, hard working and smart man. I have been trying to talk some senses and get rid of stupid feeling and high expectation like a guy in a romantic movie. I dont know what to do and how can I get rid of the bad feeling and love my husband as he love me. I dont want to get divorce and realize later that I’d make mistake to leave my husband for someone i hope he ll be better than my husband. I wish i can talk to someone that just listen and give me a fair advice and not judge me that l am stupid or freak out n tell me not to do it and that stay with him because they know him.
