I’m confused about what to think or what do do.. Right now all I do is work for money to get food and other stuff you need to live, but why? I got nothing to live for.. So why do I even bother…
Like Im a shy person having a hard time talking to people. Not only strangers but I struggle talking with people I have known whole my life, and family as well..
In the last 5 years I have been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts.. First now I have been able to tell someone I met randomly in a online game I play to keep my mind occupied and make time go forward. I’ve also met two girls through this game that I have gotten feelings for after talking with them and getting to know them better… And lets add its 2 girls I cant get… For many reasons. Biggest must be that they don’t deserve someone like me. Both of them deserve way better.
I also feel bad for liking 2 at once even though they only see me as a friend if they even see me as that.
So yeah this is the first time in my life I have been able to talk to a girl. Even though its not face to face and not too someone I have met in person, It feels good at the same time as its killing me that I know its not going to be anything more than what it is at the moment.
I can’t bring myself to talk to girls face to face even when I’m drunk, I am too shy to make a move. So I have basically given up on finding a person that I can be with, and even if I was to find someone I would probably not let her get too close to me because I couldn’t give her the love she deserve. So would be better to ”let her go” so she could find someone that is able to love her the way she deserve to be loved.
Even though I have started to make progress to get rid of the depression and ______ thoughts I struggle to see a reason to bother do it.. All it would do is make me bother other people.. And what will I do when I’m”cured”? Probably the exact same thing I do now.. Go to work come home wait for next morning and repeat.
So well working to survive when there’s nothing to survive for seems kinda pointless.. Would be better to save the air I breath to someone that’s able to live a full worthy life.
(I am new to this and I probably sound pathetic)
And sorry if I make little sense…. bad English -.-
I hear you say you can’t “give her the love she deserves” I’m thinking – but wait – you said you have some feelings. So tell me what are those feelings if they aren’t love? I get the feeling you are just looking to be loved without giving in return. That’s selfish. It’s not something worthy of the death penalty, but it’s the first thing you should work on if you want something to work. I get the whole shy thing, but even shy people are good people so like ask someone out as a joke and see what they say – tell them “I’m not serious, but would you date me or someone like me?” for real someone said that to me once and I said yes. One of the best relationships of my life, but that shy boy he almost never asked. So ask dude and don’t get all hung up on yourself. You might be surprised, but for real you better be willing to give her yourself or you ain’t getting any. Okay? This is my advice – advice from a female.
brother as it is clear that you dont have an aim in your life . so try to love anything it can be anything a girl a boy your father your mother any person or it can be any work when you would really start loving it with your heart you will get all you answers like why you work or what is the need for you to live on this earth.
so please according to me talk to the two girls and know about them more. i am sure that you will start liking one girl and your every confusion will get cleared
i m 18 male from jaipur