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I didn’t know what it felt like

I didn’t know what it felt like to be with someone for years and be so comfortable, until I met you. Ever since sophomore year, you were mine. We would fight until no end, but make up shortly after like nothing even happened, but this time, this time is different. When you spend five years with the same person, you notice how their forehead crinkles when they laugh, you memorize what they feel like when you aren’t with them, you pick up on their corny slang and even listen to their deepest darkest secrets. You always said, “You’re the one”. Well weren’t you wrong. Five years has taught me that not everyone is who they seem. You think they’re going to be there for you during the roughest times of your life, but they aren’t. In fact, they replace you with someone who once thought was your friend… “Best friend” means nothing any more. Five years has taught me what I don’t want in my next relationship. I don’t want to be controlled. I don’t want someone telling me what I want. I don’t want someone making me feel worthless just because. I don’t want someone who will lie to me and be okay with it. I don’t want someone who will manipulate me and belittle me. Five years you taught me how it feels to constantly walk on egg shells and dread going to see you. I didn’t deserve you, I deserved better. Whether the man I am with now is my soulmate, or someone down the line, I now know what I want. I now have learned to do things on my own without asking you or needing your help. Now that you are out of my life, you have given me the opportunity to start over. I now get to experience what a first date feels like, a first kiss and I now get to memorize the touch of someone else’s skin. Five years from now, or tomorrow, you may fall in love with someone else and experience it too. I really hope you do. I don’t hate you; I could never, but I hate that I was blind for so long. In the end, everyone was right about you and I chose to stick around. Thank you for guiding me into the right direction. (Seriously, without you, I wouldn’t have the motivation to pursue my nursing career right now, because you always said I couldn’t do it). Thank you for showing me what I don’t want in a person, relationship and in the future. Thank you for teaching me a lesson, that I wouldn’t have learned if I didn’t stay. And who whoever you may be with next, I hope it works out. I hope you treat her with respect and let her be her own person. I hope you don’t control her or scold at her when she does something you don’t like. I hope you hold her hand when you’re driving and surprise her with her favorite candy. Please, treat her how you DIDN’T treat me. Five years was five years I didn’t waste, but five years that I learned from.

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  1. Nice story, hope you find a better girl that treats you well and is loyal!

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