Let me write down and release what I feel and get frustrated with my life.
I am a woman from the south of Thailand. I have a dream to study English and be good at this language as I had bad experience when I was a student about this subject. I want to change and do something. I studied in a very simple temple school in my small village, even though, I love my school. I knew English is my favourite subject but yeah let think about a local girl in a very simple school which far away from centre or any hi-technology stuff. I did study hard to reach my dream. I always went to a temple called Pa-Gor Suwan-na-ram where there were always a lot of Singaporeans. I wish to practice my English, that time I was about 11-15. I love the temple which I could practice my English and confidence. I went there for selling some handmade stuff to make money for my school. I didn’t make money for myself but I could build my English.

Growing up as a high school student, fortunately, I met a very kind and smilely teacher called Kru Supit who saw my dream twinkle as a tiny shiny light. I am blessed to meet her so then I had many chances to join a lot of school activities. It was all about English activities such as Halloween’s day (I was a leader who led the students whole school had fun and learn more about Halloween), speech contest ( this activities made me feel more confidence when speaking English), writing essay, interviewer when we had foreign students, being a buddy to take care exchanged student and so on. My simple school had built and given me such great opportunities.

Another life step of this girl was to get into a university. I chose a very simple and in-famous university which is still in my province but I love my university even that. I have grown up with local moral with loving helping people. I was a volunteer student who went to every part of Thailand to build or repair school. I went to school with a team of student called Student Organisation. We sometime taught and held English camps if we raise enough money from the community. We all were happy doing this. I was always active student with any activities at my university. I had incredible time at my university with all my friends and lecturers.
The thing I am so proud of myself was I was dominated to be a leader of Volunteer of student organization. This was my big chance to learn how to organize thing as a leader of my team. We planned things for school over night ( Sh! Till sometime we had to skip class haha) We finally had helped a lot of school around Thailand including the Bluetooth island. Spending time to gain children to a temple every summer break for English camp every semester. I finally graduated with GPA 3.42 ( 2nd class honor)
I wasn’t upset about that I missed the first class honor because I didn’t spend the whole time just study hard but I had learnt my real experience from outside classroom plus helping lots of people which is like my bliss reward.

I am now turning to a big world! Working life has moved into my life. I started working with a school at Krabi. I did love my job and did love my students but I didn’t love the system very much!! My mind being a teacher should put student in the top but there wasn’t like that. Promotion is the great thing for teachers, who got a good student and train the student to win the competition would get good promotion in position and salary. I met a new friend when I was at the school he was an irelish guy. We both found some nasty thing at the school which a teacher hid all student’s certificate just to keep those certificate for her promotion just to show the head of the school that she did something for students and got a reward.
This kind of things happened all the time. All talented students were trained but the rest the weak students were ignored. I tried to change to encourage those weak students, asking school director to have an English club just to get those students to come and play by learning English. It was wonderful to start from Phonics to get students to be able to read as 85% at the age 11-12 couldn’t read even A-Z. This is the huge mistake of teaching English in Thailand at some schools. We have missed the point of teaching. The outcome isn’t effective as it should be. I worked there 1 year with some great experiences. I called it great experiences even though some of those weren’t good experiences at all. I think every life step every pain is my life lesson. I was a co-ordinator of ABC Charity from a Canadian and a Swedish who had a dream to help children all around the world. Again I was a lucky persone who met such great people like Ashley and Phillip an amazing couple who made me think I can make a change for Thailand. I helped the municipality for exhibition as a translator but my work was token by a teacher who upset me a lot. I thought that I was just an unlucky teacher who tried to make a change but all my work became others. I tried to build up and develop school curriculum in English subject, I spent a long time for that with my motivation to make a change. My idea was school should have tourist curriculum for students as Krabi is a tourist attraction and I did so. I made some beginner book for young students at the school as I couldn’t follow main curriculum from the centre of Thailand.It was because students’ English skill wasn’t strong enough and again I did so. Right to the submit all my work, again all my work turned to another teacher. This was like I got robbed again. As a young teacher there, I was like a fool who work for nothing but at least for students. I finally made a decision to move on my life because I couldn’t be there anymore. I didn’t want to leave my students but I couldn’t deal with such situation which made me cried the whole night with my housemade and we could do nothing about that at all.
My next step of life is moving back to 4 local schools. I was the only English teacher for those 4 schools.
2 kingdergardents, 2 primary schools. I had my bike to move around to teach my students. I had a really great time at those school. Tried to change my students’ attitude of learning English with senior teachers who had such kind hearts to help all those student as their own children. Using variety of teaching techniques, helping education area to develop curriculum, having such good role models from senior teachers to motivate me not to give up my dream. I did impressive job to teach the students.

another big decision happened again, I wanted to carry on my study to be very good at English. I moved to BKK hoping that to gain some experience from the big city and bring it back to those 4 schools students. It was really sad to leave the schools but I am sure it was a good decision to do as I want to go back for my students with my effective teaching skills which I can get from Bangkok. I finally got a job with a famous language school as an English teacher. A big city shows be another window to develop my skill which is about studying abroad. After that I have tried to save money for my master. Tried to applied for scholarships but I missed it. Oh well! I will just try to save the money from my hardworking, I need to motivate myself to move on and cross the disappointment. I told myself that I wasn’t good enough to get the scholarship. It’s right that other students who are very good should deserve that.
Another tried was making a project as a charity to fund myself for my master but I wasn’t successful as I need a big amount of money and I am not an interesting for people to donate for. Yeah again, there are lots of people who need help are waiting for people to contribute. I still have power to build up myself saving and working hard with my job. Finally, I am the luckiest woman in the world, who got a reward of working hard by reducing my hourly pay just the reason that I have a lot of hours and a lot of classes.
This is really frustrating; I can’t see the point of this situation at all. I don’t know how to express this but I am always treated in a very different way from my foreign friends at the same school where I am currently working now. I have been working for the school over a year now, all the foreign teachers get promotion 10 THB plus per hour every year. But mine from 260 b per hour become 210 b per hour I coulnd’t do anything with this again as my stupidness working with no contract as I am a part time teacher. The school can do whatever they want to. Teaching over 100 hours each month I isn’t an easy work to do but I need to as I am trying to save money for my dream “ A master in the UK”

I know that life it is not always easy. Please god help Thailand, please take me to my master, please give me such the special power to work out and find the way for my master and come back for my students.
Please, who is suffering now some and talk to me. I need help, I need support, I need motivation, I need a generous world xxx

PS. Sorry for my terrible English