Am I selfish?
I don’t know if I would be able to handle the stress in my family that I’m going through. At the end of every conversation I’m told that I am selfish and I give excessive tensions.
Troubles start entering my life when I was 11 and my father died. Financially we were still fine. It was just that we did not go for dinners and shopping like we used to and there were certain limits to what we could buy now. I was a good student who always did well in studies. I had my mother and brother in my family, I love them both very much. However, my brother is not very much like me. He’s about average in studies and below average in behavior. All he loves is games and stuff. He does NO WORK and just plays. My mother says that boys don’t do household work but again is washing car on Sundays and getting simpler groceries on cycle and so on are household works. Then, he should be washing dishes, no? It’s not that I hate doing it. It makes me feel so good helping mother and see her laughing but I just think that there’s no harm in my brother doing just some of the work. If he’s studying, it’s not a problem but when it;s JUST PLAYING all day long, I don’t think it’s healthy either. I so much think that mother’s this defensive nature might even spoil him. The way he talks to me doesn’t make me feel like an older sister but like a maid. He is very rude(just with me), you have no idea. I’m 16 and my brother’s 14 now. I just want to grow up fast and live peacefully in a big house just with my mother and will keep my brother with me if he changes by then, hopefully. I feel much lighter now because it was like something I’ve not shared with anyone ever.