In peoples eyes, im just a 13 year old girl. But my eyes see something else.
I’ve never had a terrible life, but its messed up in its ways. At age 10, I was bullied for being too fat. It hit me in 6th grade that I needed to lose weight. So, I went online and found a website titled ‘trying to lose weight fast’ I was too young to understand.
I ended up losing 27 pounds in 3 months from over exercising and low calorie count (parents thought it was puberty). In 7th I was at my lowest, 79. I’m now an 8th grader and I weigh 87 (I’m 5’2) no one seemed to care that I lost weight. I feel useless and my mom knows I’m malnourished, shes an emt. But I’m too afraid to tell her that I think I’m anorexic. I’m still eating like this. Although I’m not considered to be anorexic (my weight is 2lbs above the guideline for my age). I am. I know I am. I hate it, I hate myself, and my body. I’ve tried. I’ve thought suicide, I’ve had depressing thoughts. All these because of anorexia. I’ll never get my period, I’ve ruined my body. I wish people would care enough to let me speak and get help without getting yelled at. I don’t want to be lonely. Sadly, tomorrow I’m starting a new diet. Under 500 calories a day and a whole lot of water. I’m so sorry for my friends and parents. Just family in general. I know I can help myself and I’m just too afraid. I’m so sorry if something happens to me. I started this, I’m going to have to end it.
I feel really bad this happened to you, I hope you will get better. Can you go to maybe someone in your school for help?
hey its okay you can talk to me whenever you want, i have been through the same thing, even I’m 13 and i really understand how you feel. just never forget you are beautiful and perfect in your own way and no one can ever be you, so just be the best you.
I can understand your thoughts…I’ve same thoughts at the same age but….
Now I’m 24 and the happy wife and mother of a 7 month baby girl. I have a very understanding husband which make me feel life is worth it…
But my childhood is more like a ruined one by my parents and relatives. My parents, as they never loved each other and fought in front of me and my elder brother. My relatives as they never tried to consider behaving to me by my age. I was never a thief,but I became a thief in front of my relatives at age of 1 years when they found me holding a small video game device which we didn’t actually buy but somehow ended up in my hands from the exhibition site. At age of about 8 years, I became cousin elder sister to a baby girl and her mother once claimed me to be a thief when the baby’s golden earrings were found missing. She came to my house and searched and I promised that I never even have seen those earrings.i felt really sad that i was blamed for nothing i never did or even thought about plus i was born in a rich family. she left not believing my words but god almighty brought the real culprit to light and it was her servant.
At the age of 10, I used to play with the then 3 year old baby sister but her mother and my grandma used to make fun of me playing claiming it as a sign of immaturity. At that age, the word maturity was unknown to me and I used to wonder what maturity really means and why they made fun of me.
When I was 13, my uncle got a baby boy and my cousin baby sister was then 5 and used to play with the little baby,nobody had a problem,I also never cared.when she was 10 also she played with him and nobody complained,they said she was a kid(remember I was not treated like a kid at that same age. I used to remind her mother and my grandma that I wasn’t a kid in your eyes when I was her age.
At the age of 13, both these people used to compare me to really older girls having behavioural problems claiming I’m immature like them and I’ll turn out to be like them when I’m older. This made me feel like something was actually wrong with me and I wondered what to do, I was afraid of being laughed at, I was confused doing what I desire would turn out to be something immature, the result was that I became more silent and not sure of myself to even talk or even sing a song which I was really good at. I was from there on never able to make good lifetime bonding with friends and I made friends online with strangers and even fell in love.I ended up with a broken heart as they weighed sex at higher value than love and what I valued more was love and not sex.I’ve never met them and what they misused was my mind and never my body,I was safe.
I met people who inspired me during my studies,my good friends… And my bestest friend for life whom I got through an arranged marriage. He is my teacher now and with his assistance,I’m trying to walk life with no restrictions and taste real happiness. My baby does adds to my happiness and I’m able to forget my darkest past. I’m now an enjoyer of the present and I hope that the future will be more better….