I have cool friends and cool interests and people seem to generally like me, but I have massive social anxiety and it ruins me. I’m not pretty or hot or extroverted or witty. I feel like I can’t be popular or make connections because I’ve publicly embarrassed myself so many times. For example, the other day I went to this party with my friends, one of which is a model and the other is this guy who apparently knew like everyone there. I’m there, and I don’t really know that many people, so I’m standing with them getting introduced to all their friends. And I’m standing and talking and I realize as I’m talking to this kinda cute guy that I’m sweating a lot more than normal. I don’t often have a problem with sweat, even when I’m having anxiety, but for some reason I was really sweating that day. So I started panicking, looking around for a bathroom, and I find one. I throw off my shirt because it felt suffocating and there’s a few sweat stains on it, and I just call my friends and I’m like “can you get me another shirt??”. I meant it to be casual and kind of a joke (I had mentioned to them how much I was sweating earlier) but I suppose they could sense the panic in my voice and they thought something was seriously wrong. So then they’re going around asking everyone for a shirt and I’m in the bathroom shaking. They come back all distressed and they had actually managed to find me a shirt, so I get it on and I make up a lie about how I dropped my old one in the sink, because I couldn’t bring myself to admit I had sweat that much. But my model friend gets pissed at me, because she has a crush on the girl who had offered her shirt and felt like she was embarrassing herself and me by doing so. Apparently going into the bathroom and then needing a new shirt leads people to assume I had like peed all over it (?? how would I manage to do that?????) and the girl kept texting her asking about when she’d get her shirt back and what I had done to my old one. So I walk out of the bathroom all red in the face and I’m immediately regretting it and I feel so stupid. And my model friend is mad at me and my guy friend is overly concerned and then I end up changing back into my stained shirt in a closet and then returning the other shirt to the girl and trying to explain myself (she didn’t even listen or bother taking it back, saying my friend could just give it back later). And then at the end of the night I went back home (earlier than my two other friends) and realized I looked like a mess the whole time anyways. It’s just shitty experiences like this that seem to make up any social endeavour I go on and I’m just really really over it. I’ve had lots of trouble admitting to myself I have crazy social anxiety, and no one else knows because no one would take me seriously.