I’m coming to terms with the fact that I will most likely not find “The One”. By all accounts I am a smart, funny woman, but at 31 I have never had a boyfriend.
I’ve been in “situations”, but I never seem to be enough for someone. I seem to attract men that are not single but looking for excitement, or men that are emotionally unavailable yet seem to find someone quickly after I’m gone. I’ve heard, “Maybe you should find someone else.” more than I care to admit. I used to allow it, to allow men to be in my life in whatever way they wanted with little to no regard for my needs. Now I’m just tired and have given up. I have no hope that anyone will ever see the good in me that I thought was there, or hold my hand in public. No one to text me “just because” or give me flowers for no reason. I understand now that not everyone gets to have a love, or the family I always imagined. I am having a hard time transitioning into my new reality, and I find it hard to see couples on the street. I’m thrilled for all my friends and the partners that they have, but there’s a dull ache deep within me that longs for a teammate.