Dear M,
Today I passed the test. Truth is I want to hug you, I want you to pull me in, hold my hands tight, and kiss me just like before. Nobody knows me like you do. Nobody knows you like I do. But we have to stop here. I have to say no. And yes, today I passed that test. Now I’m learning how to say no – especially if it’s for the best. I’m sorry I can’t give you the love you deserve. I’m just really so good at being a friend and you deserve the best of me. That’s the best of me – being your best friend. And maybe years will unfold, and one day, we’ll realize that still, nothing has changed. Because you will always be my best friend. And I will always be yours. It’s fun to think that we’re meant to be – but I honestly don’t want to ruin what we have. This love is so special that I don’t even know how to classify it – is it a friendly love? brotherly? romantic? All in one? Guess we’ll never know. Or maybe we shouldn’t. I have read about this kind of love in books and in movies – and I honestly don’t know how to feel. This is sort of tragic. It’s always complicated with you, that’s what we always say. Until now it is. I hope this gets easier though. I love you, M. And I care. That’s for sure. And you deserve just the best of me. And this is it I guess.