I’m in love with my best friend. He also loves me. He is my everything. I seriously want to be with him forever and I love him so much that I can’t imagine my life without him. I have completed my study and secured a job. He is still studying. I don’t to disturb him and complete his exams and be free to study. But the point is that I’m unable to stay without talking to him. I don’t know why? I always thought that I’m so strong, but when it comes to his matter, I’m the most weakest one ever. I have a feeling that he too misses me like I do. He says he can’t control his talking to me and at the same time he says I’m completely against my policies. Never I had messaged someone or talked to someone like this. I am unable to understand what he is saying? Whether he like the changes that caused in his life because of me or he is regretting the changes. I used to meet him daily when we are in the same town. If we are in different places, we will make possible to see other at least once a month. It’s been nearly two months since I last saw him, it’s because he is having his final exams in next month. I don’t want to disturb him, but still I miss him so much. But last night I have said that I will not talk to him until his exams. If at all he doesn’t clear his exams I’ll never talk to him again. I don’t want that. I miss him already. I don’t want to leave him. Whenever I say that I’ll not talk if you will not pass, he will say Just okay. What that means? Instead of that he can say that I’ll pass and we will not be separated. Don’t stop talking to me. He never says that. Does that mean he don’t want to talk to me or what? He is my first true love. I’m not going to leave him provided he too feels the same for me. I’m so confused. I don’t know to whom should I say this without being judged. Words just keep coming out of mouth. Many unanswered questions are hanging in my head for which answers can be provided just by him, which doesn’t happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You’re madly in love and the chemicals in your brain are overwhelming. Be clear with yourself that this is the feeling of love overwhelming you, not him exactly (and I’ll tell you why). You are in love of the thought you may have found the one and only, you are happy about the possibility that you’re in a perfect relationship, but in fact, right now its all the chemicals in your brain talking. I’m not saying that he is not the perfect person, but you simply can’t make an assumption that “I’m sure he feels… too” This is a mistake I’ve made before. Instead, you should communicate your true feeling with YOURSELF first, find exactly what thoughts are making you feel this way (can’t stop talking to him), and after that communicate with him about your true feeling. This step may take a lot of reflecting and thinking, because your emotions are always in your way of finding what you truly want/feel. (e.g. You love him because you have never imagined you would find someone who ….) Telling him what you feel inside may be the quickest cure to all your obsession about him.
On the other hand, he just said okay because he may be happy with being unable to talk to you, but what can he say against your policy of not talking till then (plus passing the exams too), passing the exam is not a certainty and saying what you want him to say “I’ll pass and we will not be separated” is impossible. Firstly, everyone has different response to things, when you think of his exam, you want him to pass, when he thinks of his exam, maybe he thinks its pressure and a lot of headache. All sorts of reason may make him unable to say that. Maybe he’s not a person who says that kinda stuff in that situation. So, don’t assume anything, it will only hurt yourself.
Anyway, try to calm down and think about what is really inside you that you want to say to him, that is usually the way you can clear things up. Hope this helps 🙂