I broke up with my bf last month. I was in a relationship with him for almost 3 years. Earlier we respect, trust, and understand each other.
Though there was insecurity but I guess its natural. He is very possessive for me, he doesn’t like if I talk to any other guy or if I say something about any other guy.
If I ever talk about any other guy then he takes my views on that other guy in a wrong sense. From past 1 year he started abusing me. He doubts on me that I will cheat him or I hide something from him or I lie.
Whenever he has doubts he start thinking that I talk to any other guy from different phone or email id or I meet someone or I like/love someone else or I don’t love him anymore and then he ask me for proofs that show me the call records or send your photo wherever and with whom you are with and if he don’t get satisfied with those proofs then he start calling me that I am a prostitute or whore or m characterless or b**** etc etc he start abusing me.
6 months ago, we had a bad fight over some issue I was very tensed and crying. My bf abused me and my family a lot. He said bad things about my mom dad and sibling. My mom saw me crying and I had to tell her everything then my parents checked my phone and they were very upset after reading all the messages in which my bf had abused my family.
My parents want that I should leave my bf and I broke up with him because he abused and said wrong things about me and my family. I was depressed and frustrated inside my heart I talk to myself why the hell I chose this guy why the hell I love him he abused me and my family he fuc***g don’t respect me at all.
But after some days when I was little normal I thought why all this happened there must be my mistake also because I know he is not a bad guy he is over possessive and he is very insecure for me he cares about my health and career he loves me he supported me but why he is behaving like a typical psycho bf from past one year. So many thoughts in my mind.
I started feeling lonely and incomplete without him. Then I thought I will give him another chance I started talking to him but didn’t tell my parents about this. I thought I will stay strong and will prove my bf that my family is not Hitler and also prove my family wrong that my bf is not bad guy it was because of bad phase or circumstances that he abused us. but again, my bf abused me and my family. He doesn’t like my family at all but as I decided I will stay strong and prove my family and bf wrong but again my parents came to know that I am in contact with my bf and then everything got ruined.
I was super frustrated and depressed of all these dramas from past one year. I thought trust respect and understanding are must for any relationship and trust is the backbone of relationship but in my relationship, there is no trust no understanding and no respect then what kind of relationship is this. I was all confused what to do or what not to do I love my bf despite he abused me and my family and I love my family also because they have supported me in every situation.
I decided to finally break up with my bf because somewhere inside my heart I feel like I am not feeling free with him or I am not that happy with him because he doubts on me a lot every second every day. After leaving him I am feeling burden less I don’t know why but I miss him a lot I want to go back to him and hug him tight and kiss him and then slap him for behaving like a devil. I tried that at least he starts trusting me but he never trusted me and this makes me frustrated and depressed day by day. That’s why I had to broke up with him. Many times, suicidal thoughts came in my mind before breaking up with him.
Do my bf love me or it is only obsession?? Am I wrong that I broke up with my bf??