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Hit rock bottom after hurting me knee

Where to begin? I’m not really sharing much of a story, just hoping that people will care enough and give me some inspiration and go in life; because at the minute I have hit rock bottom.

I’m 18 years of age and am a successful rugby player, having played for an under 16,17,18 and 19 team of a professional rugby team and have even played on the international stage. (Ireland). But now I don’t know who I am.

I hurt my knee in a game, it got twisted in a tackle, didn’t care got on with life and just ignored all pain. The pain then gradually got worse and worse until the point where I reached out for medical help (4 months later). Doctors were concerned about me so then sent me for an MRI scan.

The results are back. Worst day of my life because rugby is my life, I live it and breathe it. You’ll not play rugby for around a year and a half they said, you’ve torn your anterior cruciate ligament (the most important ligament in your knee) and meniscus (shock absorber) they said.

A month on I am still waiting for surgery to repair these injuries, these are the worst injuries a rugby player can obtain (apart from a broken neck or something like that). A rugby player dreads these injuries.

So yeah I am sitting not having a clue what to do with myself whilst the depression slowly starts to kick in as the one thing I am good at, the one thing I love, the one thing I have devoted my life to is now suddenly gone.

Yeah its tough, mainly because my chances of professional rugby are now non-existent. I often sit and wonder what I could do with the time I’ve spent on rugby in my life now that it’s all gone to waste. It’s amazing what I could do, and yea it deeply hurts.

Just hoping that some of you care enough to respond with kind words and positive thoughts because at the minute those are non-existent.

One Comment


  1. If you truly love rugby, then all those hours and all that effort you put into it simply can’t be considered wasted time. When it’s something you live and breathe for, anticipating the chance when you get to play again, it’s NOT a waste. It’ll never be a waste. Because in this time, in this moment, you seem to love rugby and that’s enough.

    A year and a half can seem like a huge waiting period. And I’m sure that it is indeed a large blow if you plan to play in the big leagues. But that doesn’t mean your chances are non existent. Take this time to watch other players, learn more about rugby, and develop yourself.

    Yeah, you may be out of the race at the moment. But that in no shape or form means that your out of the big races. It just means you’ll have to take a different path than most to get there. Will it be hard? Likely. Will it be frustrating? I’d bet my hat on it. But overcoming these things separate the determined from the wishers. And it’s the determined ones who go big.

    As I said before, this is one of the greatest opportunities you’ll have to watch and learn how others play, and more importantly how they think. This can be a great asset when you hop back into Rugby.

    You’ll miss it, and depression will likely be lurking at the edges, but it is another battle you’ll have to overcome. But this is a great character building challenge. Don’t see depression as a weakness or wallow in it. (Believe me I’ve done it and it’s not healthy and makes you more depressed) Instead see it as a challenge or problem. Because challenges were meant to be overcome and problems solved.

    This injury is another challenge. But it’s also an invaluable life lesson you may want to take with you down the road. If you get hurt, don’t ignore it. Something minor can turn into something major if left to its own devices long enough.

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