I let my true love get away. When I started my first job I saw a girl applying and I recognized her because we both ride the bus together.

She’s absolutely amazing. I devised a plan to talk to her (yes, a plan!) because I was really bad at conversations. The time finally comes where we are both alone on the register… and I forgot everything I wanted to say I could hardly even get my name out. I survived the first of our many conversations and I knew right away she was what I wanted.

A little bit of time goes on and we get way closer and I start telling myself I could actually be with her, but on the day of my big question she shut my whole world down with “My boyfriend is a dick” yes, the comment was bad, but… she was taken and I lost all motivation to work. A month later I get a message from an old friend wanting to catch up with life and boring summer shit. She made me feel special like I was something more than just a stupid sad boy.

We eventually began dating because a part of me just wanted to be loved even if it wasn’t the girl I wanted. I’ve done plenty of dumb things. My first relationship was going fantastic and I thought that I could actually get over HER. About a month into the relationship SHE told me SHE had broken up with her boyfriend and it destroyed me. I couldn’t just break up with my girlfriend. The new school year began and my girlfriend and I had promised to stay together and not let anything get in the way.

Of course, that’s kid dreams and she broke my heart. (My heart is breaking and I don’t know how to structure or tell this story) I was broken my first taste at love… my first taste of everything turned out to be nothing. I ran to work because SHE was dropping by. I ran all the way there after school just so I could finally get it off my chest. to finally confess.

I met her in the hallway and It just slipped out “I love you ******” and her only response was ” okay?” I died the whole shift I just broke myself more trying to figure out why I couldn’t just be with her.

Time goes on and it’s a late shift and my co-worker was giving me a pep talk on how I should just confess my true feelings because she had apparently told him she was in love with me. I go to her station and I ask if we could talk, so we met in one of the back rooms and I confessed my love… and she said, “I love you, but I’m already talking to this guy” WHY THE FUCK DOES THERE ALWAYS HAVE TO BE A BUT??

I honestly thought I was just going to die. so now. She is playing with my feelings again and I’m in an unhealthy relationship and she will never love me like I love her.