Not sure why I am writing this. Or let alone why I bothered to search into Google “somewhere to write my feelings” Doesn’t really seem like people know or even care to know. I feel helpless and distant.
Very foggy and hazy. Sometimes I wish I could just go away but what good would that do?
I am worried of who I have become.
I am worried this is all I will be.
I don’t want to drag my boyfriend down with me or have him continue on with this relationship. I feel like it’s been a drag on him and what we could be doing instead of me getting upset and crying until I end up falling asleep because for some reason I can’t stop once I’ve started. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t care to know. I want to do good but I can’t seem to figure out where to start.
The more I write down the more I’m starting to feel relieved of any negative feelings that are currently inside me. I live in a decently sized place; the population is fairly big but I can’t seem to find the right people to surround myself with. I feel lost and alone.
I want better things for my life but I don’t know how to get there. I know it’s all one step at a time but dang I already feel like I’m ten steps behind of everyone as if it were a competition. I hate that. Nobody is better than anyone, even I can tell myself that not believe it. What is happening inside my head?