Today I feel terrible. It started off great… answered questions correctly, got merit points and I managed to survive the day without feeling like killing myself for the first time in a long time.

But I got angry when I was going home and threw a small tantrum but wasn’t really. I never show my true feelings. If someone ever asked me, “How many times do you lie in day?”, I would say at least once.

My mum asks me how my day was and I say it was great but it wasn’t. They ask me if I’m fine and I say that I am but I’m not. And it’s because if I told them that I was feeling miserable or depressed, they wouldn’t make a big deal out of it or say I was just a little sad… but it’s more than that.

I need someone to talk to. Someone I can tell how I feel like slitting my wrists or throwing myself off a building but never once doing it. I feel so lost.