I detached from her and turned my attention to my next door neighbour’s wife. She was easy to reel in. I made up all sorts of lies and sob stories about how awful a person my wife was. When in reality my wife was a wonderful, loyal, loving and kind person who did not deserve all that I have done to her. Yes, I groomed this married neighbour to sleep with her thinking the excitement would come back to my life. It was easy – she was so gullible and believed all the lies I told her about my wife. She finally slept with me. My wife found out 3 days later and confronted me and then the other woman. We promised we’d not see or talk to each other. We lied or at least I lied to my wife. All I could think about was trying to convince this other woman to sleep with me again and again and again. I did not think about anything else. I did not care about anything else. I did not care when my wife found our text messages and caught us out together. I did not care when my wife said she had told our neighbour’s husband (who was my friend) what had been going on. But then I came to my senses and realised I could not deal with any of the fallout of what had happened. Every one of my neighbours in our small community thought I was a great guy, so helpful, so neighbourly. If they only knew the truth I would not be able to face them. So I ran away from my wife and responsibilities but not before I screamed and yelled right in her face, abuse that I never knew I felt or had in me. I psychologically tried to break her which didn’t work. And in the end I physically abused her. I tried to kill her.
We are now separated because I wanted this. She does not want to know me anymore. My life is not what I thought it would be. I thought if I got away from her I’d have an exciting and passionate life. The other woman stayed with her husband. I have ended up with nothing. My life is just mere existence now. I try to convince myself that I am better off, but in reality my life is not a life at all now. I am sorry Lisa for what I did to you. I know you never want to see me again or can forgive me for what I did, but I’m truly sorry for the hurt and all the awful things I said about never having loved you and that you destroyed my life. I destroyed my life all by myself. Why – I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure that out. Maybe one day I will be brave enough (and not the coward you called me) to face you and try and explain. But for now I tell the world that I was not and never was worthy of your love and trust. Your very sorry husband, Nick East

The sex was mediocre.

I do not know if i am looking for advice or if this will help i just needed somebody to hear my sad silent words thank you anonymous internet user for your 60 seconds that i could not get from anyone else.

My brother just got married (i NEVER liked her) Even when they started dating she always pushed him around and got him to do whatever she wanted. (she was also the reason why he dropped out of high-school) I’m furious at him as well because he was an idiot and dropped out in his senior year EVEN WORSE: HE ONLY HAD 3 MONTHS LEFT!!!

They both live with me and my mom, she also dropped out as well (she’s 1 year younger so she may have dropped out her senior year as well -___-”)

He works in fast food and she DID work at a daycare until they laid her off and she’s on call now (but she could get promoted and paid more IF she gets her GED).  My mom only has me and my brother and i’m 16 and still in school making straight A’s  to be completely honest I hate it, I DESPISE school, and get very annoyed very easily, I also don’t like people too much because I’m shy and have anxiety problems but i do have quite a bit of friends. My brother’s wife is so whiny and childish, she cries over the most idiotic things, she needs a new cell phone every time you turn around because she either breaks them or wants the most expensive one. I also get woken up on a daily basis because of their constant arguing. (trust me it’s always about something stupid)  example: she was yelling extremely  loud she woke me up saying that he never tells her he loves her, when realistically he tells her he loves he every to seconds and TRIES to hug/kiss her but she always refuses him.  And on top of that their both immature (which is sad because i’m the youngest)  she has said the most dumbest things you’d be surprised! i got so irritated once that i told her “God your such a dunce, you make common sense seem like it’s university level.”    and she whined and ran to my brother calling me a “little bitch”.

Her and my brother both act like children example: we were in the kitchen and they started fighting again and she told him “Your so stupid you need to go to a brain operator”  at this point i was like O_o a brain operator? and then my brother yelled back saying “what the hell are you talking about” her: “a brain operator you need to go see one and get your brain operated on! that’s what they’re called!!”  him: “No! you need to go see one and fix your brain”    now at this point i was both annoyed and amused so i spoke up and said “guys -_- that would be a Neurologist NOT a ‘brain operator’” they both got mad at me.

And FINALLY:    Since i’m the only kid left in school and haven’t done anything to screw up my life so far, Our mom keeps me under close watch. (we live about 5 1/2 miles close to my best friend) it’s not that bad of a walk for me so if i want to walk down there my mom says NO!  but my brother has walked farther,   If i even mention going outside at night (even just on the porch) i get yelled at, my mom won’t even let me have a job!!!   i told her i wanted to save money for college and help her pay bills. but she always yells at me telling me how i need to focus on school work and my grades -_-.   She just doesn’t want me to screw up like my brother did, she says she loves us both but she let him do whatever he wanted, and i feel like i have a huge pad lock on me. she even hates the thought of me dating cause she says i’m not ready and gives me a lecture on how boys these days blah blah blah. And every time i mention moving out she tells me to make sure there’s enough room for her to live with me.    I’ll be honest again i love my mom but i do NOT want to be stuck with her for the rest of my  life and i don’t want to feel like the girl that got straight A’s and a college degree and makes good money but the only reason she was pushed so hard was because her mom, brother, and sister-in-law  need to leech off of someone else!

sorry guys i just had to get it all out

Today he told me I’m too obsessed with him, and it’s unhealthy. He asked if I could go 20 seconds without thinking about him. “No, ten,” he added. I do go without thinking about him… “I text you when I’m thinking about you, not when I’m not, so of course you wouldn’t know when I’m not thinking about you.”

He proceeds to tell me that I shouldn’t be bothered if he’s not available. For instance, if he’s hanging out with his friends.

Um, HIS friends? We share the same friend group! What the hell? Is it so much to ask for to be invited to hang out with our friends as well?

But all of this I can reason through. Perhaps I am being ‘clingy’, and unhealthily attached.

One thing I can’t reason through is him saying, “I sure know how to pick them.” ;-; Hurtshurtshurtshurtshurts. I smoothed the situation over before I left… eased the tension with a hug and a kiss… but it was all a show. A show he was unable to catch onto.

And now I’m holding back tears and feeling stupid and wondering what’s wrong with me. I need to hang out with ‘my’ friends, I guess. The few friends we don’t share. I need to be strong and independent. I can do this. I don’t NEED anyone…

“I sure know how to pick them.” That keeps going through my head, though… I feel so miserable… I just want him to hug me and tell me he loves me. But I shouldn’t need his validation or presence or whatever. I shouldn’t need him!

And he tells me all of this after telling me that he woke up from a dream where we had gone on a date, and gone home to a house and fallen asleep together… What IS the balance? How do I find it?

I’m not talking a little on the eccentric side, I’m talking full-blown, psychotic, hide the f*cking knives this bitch is bat shit!, crazy.

Now to find a nice HaHa Hotel to house her psycho ass until she finally dies.

My mum told the principal who came with me to show me that there is nothing to be afraid of.