I was so happy when I got my first mobile. And when I got it I started using Instagram and WhatsApp.

I started to upload pictures and when people in Instagram asked me for my mobile number. I thought, what harm could happen if we get new friends, so I added them and gave my number.

After getting a lot of friends., one of my friend asked me if he could come over and I said yes because I never had boys as friends those times and I had only few friends…

When he came he brought another friend of his as well and said they wanted to see movies and play games and I said okay. I did not expect anything would go wrong.

When they came over I gave them some juice to drink and some snacks and we played UNO.

Later on they said they wanted to see some of my clothes in the bedroom and I asked myself, “will they think the room is messy?”

Once they came in they pushed me into the bed and raped me. This happened on August 2016, two weeks before my 18th birthday. They made me stand and took pictures as if I was posing and I cried. I had some bruises in my vaginal area but other than that I felt hurt and broken…. I did not tell anyone because I was scared what they would think of me… Then I told my close friends they were really upset and kept me happy… I even was suicidal, I cut my hand it was bleeding, but no one cared.

I moved on… Later on, the first week of December 2016. Those boys who raped me uploaded my pictures to porn websites and everyone was calling me in my mobile. I felt so ashamed and bad…

Then I went to the capital police station. I told them about these pictures and they asked me to go to cybercrime CID in Duhail. I even told them about me being raped but it did not come well as I thought it would, so I left…

I went there, and I complained, and he asked for Arabic translation which I should get but I know if I leave this place I will never come back again. But still I said okay and went out.

I couldn’t get a taxi home, so I went into a private one. He misbehaved with me and started to touch me very badly. I hit him. The car went at a speed and I could not get down and my mobile fell inside. He took me to a dark place to be exact a house where his friends were waiting. They dragged me and went to a room. I was screaming for help. But that area of houses felt unusual to me. It was so quiet and lonely with no lights. and then they raped me… They all took video and pictures and I cried. I was destroyed and felt hopeless again. But they made sure that there were no bruises in my body.

They dragged me back to the car and took me far from the house and told me to get out and not to tell anyone or these videos will be viral, so I got out crying and they left… I called the police and ambulance they asked for directions, so I stopped the car and he helped me … He was an Arab. He looked at me and told them I don’t see anything wrong with her… And when they arrived at the spot they took me into the ambulance and asked me questions… I barely could answer. They thought I was lying because I am talking too much…. I told them this is my second time someone raped me.

They thought this was a joke but still took me to the hospital I was in see and treat area in the hospital.

The doctor came and checked me she did not find any bruises, so they thought I was lying … In that depression, in that fear, in that lost hope I cried and said I wanted to die was my biggest mistake…. They admitted me in a psychiatric ward… None of the doctors believed me, none of the police believe me, not even my family did. This is one of the disadvantage of a psychiatric [patient although I have only depression problem…. As I was telling them what happened they kept increasing medicines those meds had side effects it just went worse. After a few weeks they asked me questions and this psychology questions I started to lie to them which I hated to, but it led me to no choice.

I stayed in there for 1 month and then I had to act as if I was happy and I came out…

I thought finally I can enjoy my life … Everything was over but, on, November 2017, first week, there was a man who wanted water outside my door. He was coughing and holding the wall… I wanted to call the ambulance but instead I did a big mistake again…

I open the door and asked him if he wanted water he said yes… I left the door unlocked and kept my dog near the door and went to get water from the kitchen… But he came in and hit my dog and I froze… They were fighting so I ran, and I locked myself inside the room.

But I heard my dog bark a lot and I know she was in pain, so I came out put her in the room locked it and I was in front of him. I slapped him. I asked him to get out. But he refused. He went to the kitchen drank water which I kept in the cup and I ran to my sis room.

I tried locked the door, but the key fell.

He came in pulled my hair and took me into the room I was screaming and begging him to let go but… He raped me…

And this time I cried but, I did not tell anyone anything…. But my two friends…

I tried my best to be strong in front of others with a big smile but trust me I only know the pain inside… One of my friend said, “you are brave, and you come this far, and you are still standing on your feet”

Presently, I am 19 years of age…

So this is my story… I am survivor!