I’m stuck in an endless wheel of tears and self-hatred. Sometimes I feel like nothing matters enough to make me care. People are so stupid to cut themselves for showing off to people or acting depressed when they’re really not and treat like a trend. They don’t know what it’s like to hear thousands of fragments of hatred push through your ears and ripping out your 7-year-old heart just because you weren’t the perfect image of all the pretty girls.
Sometimes the girls would stay away from me like I was a freak! I was always quiet because I was scared! Scared about being judge by my family and people.
The world is such a cruel as place that is a horror movie stuck on repeat. I never had a friend till 2nd grade when I saw a girl, with who I am still friends at thirteen years old made me feel equal.
Everything began to get darker when split our ways into different schools I began hating myself when my parents began arguments then my dad’s phone would be filled with fuck sites and text messages and he began to dislike me I would cut myself rarely to prevent long term scars, but I did worse to myself I would gasp out words saying that I was shit that I shouldn’t be alive. I would cry why? I would finish my story if I could stop crying. 🙂