The day before yesterday I got a huge wake up call. Not a lot of people know but almost a year ago I was in a very dark place in my life. I didn’t want to be the person I became, and I saw no way out anymore.
One morning I made a bad decision of which I am not proud, thanks to my family and loved ones I slowly recovered from it.
So, now, the reason I’m writhing all of this… (My own way of venting I guess)
Some friends and I were at a Christmas market on Saturday and like we all know, people drink (sometimes a little too much). (Not me, I quit drinking the day I got my wake-up call, plus it’s not good for my stomach.)
I jokingly told one of (my sort of) sober friends that now I’m sober it is funny to see drunk people act the way they do. One guy heard it and started to make a scene.
“I did not know how hard his life is, otherwise I would know why he drunk (I have my own problems I just learned the hard way, that drowning them in a glass of alcohol doesn’t make them disappear, they just come back the next day and bite you even harder in the butt). The guy knew who I was (I am a disaster at remembering people, so I did not know who he was), and told me he never laughed at me when I was drunk. (Again, I was speaking in general about drunk people, he just felt personally attacked).
All my hard work I had done in 1 year, to become a different person, it just fell apart, I just fell apart and started crying like a baby. I got the feeling that people do not see the new me and they never will, they see the me I was a year ago. I couldn’t get out of bed yesterday because I felt so down, this was a shock for me. 1-year work of lifting myself up and climbing out of a dark place, ruined by the words of one drunk guy.
It was just today that I realized something, okay I did stay in bed yesterday and I cried my eyes out… But old me would have done a lot more stupid things. I got stronger in that year, and I will continue to grow. So thank you drunk guy. For making me realize this.
And to all the people out there who knew the old me, she is no longer. I am stronger, wiser and I will do all I can to become the happiest I can be, and I won’t allow people to tear me down anymore, you can try, but you make me stronger in the end.