I am a trans gender man with an anger problem. I hurt everyone who is close to me because I am angry all the time and I tend to explode after pent up anger and hurt the people who I love the most.
I have caused pain to the person who I love the most today and now she does not believe I care for her anymore. I understand why she feels that way. I just wish I could show her my heart.
I want nothing more than to be happy and give happiness to the people around me, but I just can’t stop being so damn angry at everything because of what I’ve been through. Counseling doesn’t work, and I have decided that I may end my life soon. I am now more alone than I’ve ever been before in my life and it’s my own fault.
Everything seems so hopeless.
I understand how everything can feel hopeless. Everything takes time to heal, and you should take that time and let it do so.
Anger is truly very hard to manage. But remember that every time you are able to control your anger, you rewire your brain to think that way and you get better at it.
I’m sure you’ve heard it multiple times but, take deep breaths. Convince yourself you don’t want to be angry. Narrow down the reasons why it happens, the moment it happens. Find alternative reactions. Teach yourself and be the person you want to be. Creative outlets can also help with calming yourself, if done regularly –anything that lets you work with your hands (eg. music, art, carpentry).
It’s a tough world, and it’s so easy to get trapped in it. Just breathe. You’re human, as we all are.