This will be a tad dramatic because this is my life story the past year and how my life has changed since I got dumped. This is for the people who are going through something hard and needs to know that things do get better. I have found that reading these kinds of messages helped me and I hope to do the same for those who needs it too. This can be cringe worthy to some, but I don’t care.
I was in a long-term relationship for 5 years. I won’t say what happened, but you can assume that it was bad. We both had our flaws and had our mistakes. We were young mentally and had stopped growing with each other, but we tried to stay together. Our relationship was toxic. The way it ended was bad. I loved him a lot, whole heartedly so I was pretty torn apart. He was everything to me. He was my prince. He was my life for 5 years. I was so focused on him that I did not pay attention to others (even to myself) who really cared about me. I took them for granted and gave everything I had to my ex. I felt that he was the only one there for me. The only one who loved me.
When we broke up, I was in a bad state. Dramatic as it may sound but I thought I was going to die of a heart break. I was broken. I’m not proud of what I was like that time. How I handled the first month. I was constantly crying and spacing out. I was a walking robot and went to work when I had to. I begged and that is one of the worst things you could do. I stopped talking to my friends.
I was working away for 2 months at that time in a rural place and only had my sister and a friend when we broke up through messenger. I snapped out of it a month later when one time I was in my sister’s room begging her to let me fly back home to see my ex. I was in all fours begging & crying my heart out. My sister gives tough love. She wasn’t having any of my shit. But I guess seeing me like that took a toll on her and she held me all of a sudden and told me that she cannot take seeing me like that anymore. That was like a cold shower to me. I woke up. Here I am wallowing with self-pity and I didn’t even consider how I am affecting other people who cared about me. That’s when I decided I need to take care of myself and move on.
I distracted myself and started doing anything and everything I can to become better, to heal. After 2 months working at a rural place it was time to go back home and go on a holiday for my brother’s wedding. The holiday helped a lot as I was surrounded by the entire family and everything was just fun when you’re with your cousins and aunties you haven’t seen for a very long time. By then I have also decided to start a new in a new city. I was on holiday for a month and when I went back to Perth I moved to Melbourne just after two days of being back.
Melbourne was somewhere I have always wanted to move to while I was with my ex. I fell in love at first sight when I first visited. I knew I was going to be happy here and I was right. After the break up every problem I had almost fixed itself. People who I didn’t know cared about me reached out to me. I was overwhelmed at how many cared. For the first time I felt loved. I felt special. It was very new to me. It was the first time I cried because I was happy. I had great support from everyone. I felt a lot closer with my family.
The move went smoothly and found a job a month after. I was happy exploring by myself and I have 2 siblings who lives here too. There were challenges of course, some days I felt down but I learned to get back up every time. I finally became stronger. I made friends and have found a place where I truly feel like I belong. I found a job I love, and I guess the biggest of all is I found myself.
I learned to love myself. I accepted every flaw I have and as conceited this may make me, I think I’m pretty great. I love who I am. Other people think I’m weird because of the way I act i.e. going on a road trip by myself but to be honest why do I need to give a fuck? I do me and you do you, right? I no longer care what other people think. I do everything I want shamelessly. Because it’s who I am and it’s what makes me happy. Don’t bow down to what society think you should be, just do what makes you happy and brush off all other people’s judgement. I have never felt this happy in my entire life, it may sound exaggerated but it’s the truth. I feel whole. I feel great. I feel happy like I am who I am supposed to be right now. I don’t regret anything in my life because I wouldn’t be me right now, I wouldn’t be where I am right now if it weren’t for all those things that happened.
It has been a year since the breakup and a lot has changed. Things never stay the way they are. Your current situation will change. You just have to change your perspective and just go with the flow. Don’t follow any rules. We’re not for everyone so don’t even bother trying to get other people’s approval. If they truly care about you, they will follow and support you. Everything happens for a reason, don’t question why things happen because you won’t know the answer until the time is right. It’s all about timing, just be patient.