Hi, I am a fifteen-year-old girl who is just tired of her life. I’m from a different country and I don’t really tell people where I’m from, sorry.
When I was born, my dad was in jail because he was an alcoholic and he robbed people for a living. He was in a really bad gang and he was never around like a father should be. He was in jail every two months and when he was in jail, my dad’s family would beat my mom and make us work and they never gave us food.
When I was one and a half years old, my mom gave birth to my sister just two days before my half birthday. After a few months, my dad went back to jail and my mom ran away and went to her parents’ house for protection with me and my sister. Her father and brothers refused to help her, but her mother was trying. One day she was shopping and left me and my sister with my grandma. My uncle came to the house and kidnapped me and my sister.
I don’t know what happened with my mom, but I know what happened with me and my sister. Two days after the kidnapping, my sister drowned, and they saved her and gave her back to my mom because she was still small. I was kept with them for four months and I did not see my family all in that time. When I was with them, they all kept drinking around me and they kept telling me that my family is dead, and I was alone.
I was a being lied to all the time. Four months later, my mom throws a birthday party for my sister. The kidnappers brought me back just for that one day and then they wanted to take both me and my sister and sell her and keep me. My mom had a plan of her own that night. She took advantage of the crowed and took me and my sister and met up with a guy she met and got married to before the party had happened. She was already divorced from my dad.
Anyway, this guy told her that he would love her kids and her that he was kind. When she ran away, her entire family was against her, but she left anyway. She just wanted to save us. So, after that she was sick with cancer. My step dad used to abuse us all the time and he would always hurt me because I was older when he met me, and he just hated me so much. In 2006 she had my step sister and she had 3 other kids from him.
So, she had six kids all together. He kept abusing me. He would wake me up in the middle of the night and hurt me. He would lock me in the bathroom and he would hurt me till I pass out. When I turned six, we moved to the USA and he started to abuse her less and me but only because he got in trouble the first time he bruised her and us. After that he bought a tire shop and he made me work with him. He used to use me to translate. He would take me everywhere my mom used to joke that I was not a girl because I knew nothing about girl stuff and I never went shopping and I was always asleep after work.
Anyway. When I was ten, he got a new place and I grew up and he started to touch me in places I did not want to be touched and I just hated myself. I started cutting. I cut on my legs, so they would think I got cut with the tires. I hated everything. I was ugly. I was always oily, and I was always sad. Then two years ago I told my mom and she told him that I will not go with him anymore. He got mad and threw tables at my head, but I did not care because it felt like cutting and I just did not care anymore. So, after that he hated me even more and he found anyway to get back at me.
So, in 2016 during winter break, we called the cops because he almost killed her. After that he came back, and I was so mad at my mom for bringing him back, but he lied to her again. After that they kept fighting about getting divorced and it was stressful. We moved again that summer and they got in a fight two months after moving in, and he was arrested, and I have not seen him since.
I feel like when he left, it’s not only him I want to get away from. But my entire family. I feel like everyone hates me and everyone is always using me. My sister is cutting because she and her bf get into fights and now they broke up. My mom cries and yells at me every day for no reason. My sibling hates me. I have never had a bf. My friends are all at my old school. I am so lonely and sad and tired of everything and I just can’t deal with life anymore. I am not going to hurt myself. I just want to share my story and help others and become something big, so I can prove everyone wrong and make them jealous.