Hey! I’m about to share my story because I got to do something about it, I just can’t hold it anymore.

Here it goes… I never believed in “love at first sight” but my first day of school as a sophomore I was excited to start and meet new people and with that maybe meet a nice and sweet guy. That day I saw like 3 cute guys, but they were just okay, but at my last class while I was waiting for my teacher, I saw three guys entering, and that was the moment when I believed in love at first sight.

He has a beautiful smile, brown hair, beard & a sweet stare. I thought he was really handsome, but I never talked to him I was afraid he was going to think I was weird or a stalker.

Days passed, and my teacher said that we need to make small groups to work in a project, I got lucky that day: HE WAS IN MY GROUP! I started staring at him because I thought the way he used to write on his note book was (and still is) weird. I was crazy enough to tell him that and that’s how we finally talked.

While we were working I founded out he is Brazilian and he’s one year younger than me (I was nineteen by that time). Class ended and we all just left. Next day I saw one of my best friends and told her about the guy we wanted to look him up on internet, but we couldn’t find him. Monday, I went to school hoping to see him and I did, and we had the opportunity to talk and meet each other and we got closer and closer. Time passed, and I had this stupid feeling of “I’m not good enough” so for some crazy unknown reason I started calling him “bro” I know, I know stupid me but that’s not the worst part of it I told him about my close friend (the one I told you guys before) and that they would be a nice couple. So, he started being interested on my friend and hangs out with her, calling etc. But my friend didn’t like him at all not even a little bit, actually she thought he was Boring! He was giving up on her because she wasn’t interested to date him, she was closer to his best friend (the four of us used to be really close).

For summer vacations I got back to my town, but I was invited to a birthday party, so I got back to the city so, I told them (the guys) I was going so they told me that we should meet a day before. We did, and it was fun that night and when they left my crush and I started talking about the day and by mistake I told him that I liked him, and he got a little shocked but then he said, He liked me too, but he never tried something with me because I called him “bro” and trying to pair him up with my friend.

After that day we kind of started being a couple, talking every single day, every hour, giving each other couple nicknames etc. But one day his best friend calls me and says that we need to talk and long story short he told me he was IN LOVE WITH ME so freaking IN LOVE WITH ME, and that he needs to be away from me because it was hard for him to see me with his best friend, it was hard cause we were closed, more like my best friend.

Days passed, and my relationship was great, we had a funny first kiss and great time together. He used to visit me at my house and we kissed a lot (he was a really good kisser) we kind of wanted to take the next step but I was afraid that someday he’ll tell me he was going back to his country, but he said that was not a problem. We didn’t do it… I was afraid to get pregnant, so we never did.

Days passed, and he was starting to act weird, guess what? He was going back to his country (by the way his best friend started to talk to me again and since my guy was acting weird he was always listening to me because he was over me). I remember how my heart was broke knowing that they guy I was in love with, was leaving and he said that it would be better to break up because it was hard for him and that we could be friends. I didn’t like the idea, but it was the only way to stay close to him.

One day all my friends and I met to celebrate a birthday and, so we went for dinner and he was ignoring me or maybe not ignoring but trying to avoid talking to me, obviously I felt like really bad, but I tried to hold it and after dinner some of us wanted to go dance so we did or kind of did. When we were at the club he was asking other guys if there was going to be pretty girls to dance with and I WAS STANDING THERE! We left the club and when I got home I started crying really hard and, so he calls to me and apologized for how he treated me, and I forgave him.

I Thought he was really sorry for that, but he kept doing small things that made me feel like crap. For his last day of school, I planned a small party for him (bought him a shirt and made him two good bye cards) people showed up and they all wrote a small good bye to him in the one I made from all of us to him. It was my last time to see him, so I wanted to be with him but guess what? He hanged out with two other girls that he barely talked to, all he gave me was like ten minutes with him or less and a tiny pop kiss.

I was really nice to him for his birthday, called him for new year’s eve and then I found out he never wanted to spend time with me his last days but he had time for his other friends and the day he was leaving he said “you can’t go cause it’s going to be hard for me” weeks later he talked to one of my friends and tells her that he misses me, he misses everything about me but he liked to tell me he was finally happy, he was excited to be there etc. And he used to tell his ex-best friend (because of how he treated me and how he blamed my best friend they stopped being friends) that he wanted me to stop talking to him and that he was happy that he wasn’t with me.

So basically, I had three versions: he loves you and misses you very much (coming from everyone), the I don’t miss you, but I actually do (what he used to tell me) and the I’m finally away from her but she keeps talking to me. I didn’t know what to believe so my best friend told me to ask him directly and I did.

He said, ” I love you so much, but I just can’t you’re far away” “… but I can’t because he loves you too” it was all just excuses to not be with me and that really fucking hurt me. I got depress but eventually I got better, my best friend always stood there for me and now after a long time we started dating. It was a really sad period for me, maybe you think that it wasn’t that bad but when you’re in love, really in love this story is your worst nightmare.

Please, find a guy who loves you beyond, fights for you, cares, encourage, respects you. Here’s a quote from a movie I love: ” The theory of entrainment in Physics states that some specific sounds increase the rate of your heartbeat.

For me, Mandira, that specific sound has always been your laughter” -My name is Khan