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I have been insecure about my body

I’m only sixteen or I’m turning seventeen this year: this summer to be exactly.

I’ve always been an active kid, being outside in the yard; getting dirt on my new sundress (that I actually hated to wear as a kid): Anyways, I have played soccer since I was six and that’s almost eleven years soon. Along with that I build muscles, a lot of them actually. I would say I’m kind of fit or I have a fit body type.

As a teenage girl or teenager in general I have been insecure about my body. Often it had been the fact that I’m too big or weight too much. Which made me loose a couple of pounds a few years ago. But I got over it, since something in my mind told me that I can’t do this to myself. My body does not deserve this; so, I stopped.

Now I graduated, and I go my first year at a high school. I’ve a couple of friends or a group of friends. We don’t have the same classes, but we see each other whenever we can. Recently these big football guys have begun picking on me; at first, I just shrugged and didn’t mind it since they were only teasing me. But now the call me anorexic. I’m not anorexic. I’m just naturally kind of thin and muscular. I’ve told them what I weight which is perfectly healthy. But they don’t seem to trust me about that. So now I’m overthinking the fact that I’m super thin.

Maybe I’m the only one that Can’t see it, maybe I haven’t noticed how skinny I actually are. But deep down I know that there is nothing wrong with my body. Now I’m trying to decide if I want to do something about the “problem” or just let it be. I don’t know. Either I will just agree with them and actually loose a couple of pounds and “be the anorexic bitch” they say I am. Or I will just get my shit together and begin working out and put on some weight or muscle weight. A little problem is that I’m not really happy with the idea of gaining weight. To be honest that thought kind of scares me.

So right now, the first option is more attractive to me, but I’m actually trying to eat more and more often. So, I will get some fat on my body and then build some muscles trough that. Because if I try to do that now I will just get skinnier; since there is not much fat on my body at the moment.

Well honestly, I don’t know what to do. Probably I will feel a bit insecure about it for a few weeks and if they keep calling me anorexic I guess it will just stick with me… sadly enough.

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