The day after I go out I always feel like a worthless piece of shit. I always end up saying some dumb ass shit that I just shouldn’t have said. I don’t want to go out anymore yeah I feel cool at the moment but the next morning I can’t even get up and face my parents because I’m ashamed I’m ashamed of who I’ve become.

I’m a horrible friend I use to keep her out of trouble and now I feel like I’m the reason she’s always in trouble. I seek attention. I do . And I need to stop I will stop. I will stay in on Saturdays and watch Netflix cry and then watch some more Netflix. At least this way I’m not ruining anyone’s life or ruining mine a little more.

So here I am on Sunday morning waiting for the text back from my best friend to explain to her how sorry I am for the events of last night. I can hear my family in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Breakfast I can’t eat because my stomach is punishing me for last night. I have two papers to write, a story to read, and history assignments due tonight at midnight and all I can think about it how shitty of a person I am.