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I’ve just never been this big before

I’ve just never been this big before…

All my life I have been quite small, never on the big side. I didn’t starve myself, nor did I ever really care about my weight. It was just something that never really intrigued me. But since leaving school I have soon realized the after math of eating as much as you want and not doing simple exercises like walking. I guess when I was in school, I played so much sport, I would sometimes walk to and from school and even do exercises after school which explains why I could eat as much as I wanted and never gain weight.

Well it’s been three years now since I’ve been out of school and my body just hasn’t stopped growing. I seem to be putting on weight like its nothing. When I hit ninety kilos I just gave up, but little did I know I’d be getting bigger and end up around the hundreds! I find it so much harder to lose weight now simply just because it hurts so much more than it used to.

I have no clothes that fit me, no proper running shoes that fit me, nothing! I’ve never been through this struggle, I hate it. I hate being this big, I hate not having any clothes that fit me, I hate not being hot for my boyfriend when before that’s all I would care about. I used to care so much about my looks that I’ve forgotten how to do a simple makeup look because I never wear it anymore. I want to be hot and pretty, I want to look good, I want to dress nice and not just in clothes you just wear at home.

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