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The Sadness Life When I Had ‘Bad Breath’

I send this letter to all dentists around the world and hopefully there’s no other one else like me.

Tooth care is one of most important things about someone’s personality.

I’ve ever had a serious problem about bad breath. I know I had bad breath when my younger brother told me. That’s when I was about 13 years old. My brother and I were fighting about something. But when we’re fighting and quarrelling, suddenly he ended it and back off and said, my breath is smell or stink.

About 2 years later, I was pretty shocked when my friend told me he saw beard on my chin. As teenager of course, I become felt too old when I already have beard. So, I asked him to pull out that beard. While he was pulling it out, ushh…he said, your breath so smelly.

That’s the second-time other people complained about my breath when I closed to them. Later, some time I didn’t feel confidence while close to my friend.
But as a common teenager I have a lot spirit to learn everything also to have friends and know each other.

Then I become feel sad when I was in Senior High School, that’s when I was about 18 years old. My classmate or chairmate told me that he had a lot friends that smoker. Their bread smelled smoking, but your bread is different, stinky he said.

I was so stressed and frustrated and try to find a way to hide it so when I talked, I try not to blow my bread strongly. But some time my friend especially girl catch it. I had some girlfriend that quite close to me and bought me some candy.

While planning to University, I’d like to take physics science, that way I thought I become I less talk, only work and think.

I passed that test and got to the university. But a few months I change my mind because people said a physics science student will be a teacher. Of course I don’t like to be a teacher, because being a teacher , I have too much talk.

I decided to take test electrical engineering, because I thought when I became engineer then I less talk.

I felt devastated, it turn out the both major in university need student not only learn from teacher but every student need to discuss and study each other .And the worst I realized that I very hunger to have a girlfriend.

While at University I spent a lot of my time to cure that health problem.

At first I went to the dentist, and dentist ask me If I have some decay teeth. I said no. Then dentist gave me some vitamins.

Another year I went to another dentist and gave me vitamins too and also a kind of liquid to rinse my mouth.

Some years later, I took alternative medicine and traditional medicine and so on. But It’s all useless.

So I tried to find the all of sources. God.

I read Bible, quote word Alquran. Write letter to Yesus, Buddha, Krishna. But they never tell me what’s wrong about my mouth.

I went to church 2 times a week, meditation ala Buddha, saying Al Fatiha AL Qur’an.

Then I found a book ‘ Conversation with God’ book 1 Daniels Walls in Indonesian version.

That book said All illness, or disease because of yourself because you don’t know until you suffer it. I need the book 2 and 3 but it’s still not released at that time.

To make long story short I finished university almost 9 years , almost Drop Out.

First years, two years, I couldn’t find job but I got a job I like, that’s job at traditional ship as a seaman.

I felt comfortable because the wind of sea will blow my bad breath to the sea and nobody notice my bad breath.

After 3 years as a seaman, I felt that my bad breath had enough decreasing because while work I always ate full, so strong enough as a worker. I thought that eating food much would make it better to reduce the smelly mouth.

In 2007, I contacted my friend at contractor company then I worked at his company.

I choose job as a Drafter because I realize that I still had the fucking problem. As a drafter you can less talk, only make some drawing and drawing.

My family always badger me to married as soon as possible, they worried I was 39 years old at that time.

I married when 40 years old but my wife apparently understand about my problem, but always take effect to my personality until today.

But in November 2007, I felt my molar tooth was loose. I need the tooth to be removed, so I went to dentist. When dentist was removing the loose tooth, she couldn’t do it, because there was any obstacle. She had to remove another decay roots next to it. When all decay roots were taken out, my bad breath gone away.

How could I was so stupid over 30 years my life and suffering to always stay away from all my friend during my life and had to missed all the good chances to make my life better?
I wish I could go back in to 20 years ago but what can be done.

What I learned as a result is God never talk to me directly as I begged it all my life. God don’t like to talk or dialog because we will misunderstand it, and God prefer to talk through our experience said God in Book 1,2,3 Conversation With God, Daniel Walls.
But still I hate God that let me healed when I was 46 years old.
Jonner, Tanjung Pinang, Indonesia

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