Have you ever questioned whether you’re really here? That perhaps you might just be looking through the eyes of someone else?
I happen to feel this way every day.
It’s like I’m here…but I’m not I wake up feeling a deep tiredness within my bones. I wish I could simply lie there and drag myself into slumber. However, I slip my mask on and I entertain the oblivious.
Then at the end of the day, when I’m all alone. I question myself as to whether I really said and did the things that happened during the course of the day. I wonder who the girl was who lived through the day. Wondering if I’ll get to watch the same show tomorrow…and I do.
Every day, I entertain myself with this alternate persona’s actions and trivial thoughts. Which I have to admit is fun…but at times I get tired and wonder when it’ll end. When this stupid game of charades…will just end for good…I honestly don’t know who or what I am anymore. I have no mold and at this point I’m just bouncing between the shards of personality I was before the world told me it was wrong, and the character(s) I’ve created to please the people around me…