I once caught the class joker crying. I don’t know why I chose this place to write about this but I need to bring this out somewhere. Anyway, it was on graduation night. Everyone in my class was celebrating at a pizza place. It was supposed to be a crazy night. And of course, he was there, partying like there’s no tomorrow with the cool kids. I’d always admired him though, cause throughout the semester he was so daring and confident. He always wore a smile and pretty much optimistic in everything. Personally, I thought he was a guy with absolutely NO problems with his life. Guess I was so wrong that very night.
That night, he became drunk (we were barely legal) and it was still early. He was so wasted that he needed to go home. I volunteered to take him back since I wasn’t a party animal and was one of the few that had a driver’s license. On the car, I half expected him to rant about random things that night. Of course, he needed to throw up and we stopped somewhere. I REALLY didn’t expect him to cry after that. I can’t believe it myself, the happy-go-lucky class joker was crying. Turns out, he had a rough childhood and a family who wanted him to be perfect. He never told anyone about it. He bottled up all his sadness and kept it to himself. A lot of things happened to him. All these years, he wore a fake smile because people only wanted to see that side of him (me included).
He poured out all his feelings to me that night. I really felt bad for him, but in the end all I could do was give him a hug and tell him it was okay to be imperfect. I guess he wasn’t listening because he felt asleep in his drunken state right after that.
I guess he didn’t even remember that night, because he can’t even recall about anything about him being drunk. However, he made me realize a lot.
Sometimes, even the happiest can be the saddest. I never really knew him that well, I guess nobody ever did. I never had the chance to talk to him about that night. We eventually grew distant, went to different universities. I don’t even think he still remembers me. Sometimes I still regret I didn’t do anything to help him. Maybe I could give him advice, tell him it’s okay… But that’s all in the past anyway…