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My husband was going to rape me. And I felt like I deserved it

Let me start off by saying that I’ve been a bad wife. I’ve been married for about ten years, but our sex life has always been very vanilla. As of late, even when he has pursued sex, I have said no, sometimes out of spite. We hadn’t had sex in a long, long time. I had met someone who was charming and begun having an affair. Sex with him was incredible. It was wild and spontaneous and amazing. However, one night, after I had gone to bed, satisfied earlier that day from my lover going down on me, my husband decided to peruse my phone. We had always tried to be secretive, deleting our texts. But what I had forgotten to delete was a short video on my phone, a close-up of him fucking me.

I was roughly and abruptly awaken with him angry and my phone in his hand. I had no words, I was caught red handed. I saw my marriage quickly going into shambles and I tried to make things better. I pleaded with him how sorry I was and that I would end it, that I wanted him and not this other man. Through gritted teeth he told me I wasn’t sorry enough. He put down the phone and started forcefully making out with me. He got on top of me and began ripping off my pyjamas. I was scared. He had never done anything like this before. After my pyjamas had been torn from my naked body, he forced me to go down on him. I would say he is larger than the average man, and his force was making me gag. Then he got on top of me. I knew what was going to happen. My husband was going to rape me. And I felt like I deserved it.

He shoved himself into my pussy. It hurt. I was not very turned on and as I said he was large. He never really could get all the way in me, but that night he proved he could. I started crying. He kept going. He told me if his wife wanted to be a whore, he was going to fuck her like a whore. It was so painful. I had never seen him so aggressive with me before. Tears were rolling down my face when he started to grunt and cum inside me. When he was done he just got off of me and passed out. I was sobbing, sore, bleeding, and leaking as I felt so ashamed for bringing this on myself.

Things have been awkward to say the least and I’m not really sure what to do. At times I feel like it really was my fault and I got what I deserved. All comments appreciated without judgement.

7 Comments


  1. You are not at fault. He had no right to hurt you physically like that. Just remember one thing, an unhappy person cannot make others happy. Find your happiness. Everyone has the right. Be Strong and have courage. I know you can do it. Good luck. God bless.

  2. Yes u did wrong.You were not satisfied doesn’t mean going on bed with other person until and unless you love that person.His faith, love ,trust in relationship all went off.He did wrong but he lost everything in that one night even he murdered himself too.Try to build your relationship with love and care without thinking where it will end.

  3. He has the right to be unhappy with you but that doesn’t mean he can rape you.
    If you fell for some else then you should have left your husband and started fresh with the guy you was having an affair with

  4. That was fucking HOT AS FUCK!!! you dirty whore , you did deserve it, I wish you had video of all this and could send it to me, you just made me cum so hard! Thank you for sharing your story and hit me up if you want to have a sexting relationship with me you can be my whore too!

  5. Cheating is wrong. If you had issues with your husband, you should have talked to him.

    You should be aware you made relations with another person while already being in a marriage. It was not ethical at all. If you were unable to stay loyal with your husband, you should have opined for a divorce or at least should have talked about it with your husband.

    Also, just because you betrayed your husband and shattered his feelings by disloyalty, it does not really make your husband right. His way of expressing his anger shitshamed the humanity.

    You were loney. But what you did was wrong.
    He is hurt. But what he has done is also wrong.

    Sorry.

  6. Men are sex crazy… he must be into gentle slow lovemaking so you have to initiate the sex every time. If you are staying with him, have lots of sex with him and don’t feel shy of starting g the fun . He’ll get into life n fun with u

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