How do I start…………………

There is that one place you go too where you feel like you are escaping from all the crap in your life, but then when you least expect it someone comes and makes your life a living hell and then you just don’t have any place to be calm and just….. take a breath for a second.

When I first started high school, I was the bullied one. Anyone walks pass has to say something to me no matter how much it will hurt. They have to say something, but I kept a hope in me that they will change and they won’t say anything in 2-3 years. But then 5 years later, I am still dealing with the same crap, but I made some friend and thought would be together by then end of life.

During the last year of high school my mate found a guy she only knew him for like less than a week and she knew me for 3 years and want to know what she did took him over me.

The funny thing Is they didn’t even last a week the guy was too naive to be with her like am not try to be mean or anything but this girl mostly went for the guys who looked naïve but was badass or dirty which I didn’t really like, but you know, with time, you kind of get used to the differences that was me.

I was used to it and to be honest, I loved her a lot like she was really close to me. When the shit happened between us, the worst thing was when she went round chatting shit about me and that hurt the most, but luckily, it was the end of high school then.

College started. I was really excited to start fresh make new friends have no one from high school there and just fresh starts. When I started, I made a friend and then with time I was friends with the whole class but one girl because her first impression put me off her and I haven’t spoken to her since then. Only if I had to which was for beef as she went round the college saying to people that I wear makeup to cover my spots when I hardly have any and the weirdest thing is, I wear makeup once every two weeks. This hurt me a lot but I didn’t really show it to anyone I went up to her and said “hey listen I don’t want to start beef or anything, but is it true that you said this because I was been told this by my friends who was standing behind me this girl denied it all at first and then accidentally let it all out and I said to her look if you have something to say to me come say it to my face, don’t go round calling me shit. If you can’t say it to ma face” after that happens she calls me a bitch.

I stay mature and shove it off then goes round twice to two different people who are not even in any of the same lesson to me and say to them I look like an alien and it hurt, but I shoved it off then goes round calling me a fat bitch, which did hurt like and I know am fat. I do own a mirror and if not there are public mirrors where I see my reflection and I do know how I look and all, but I still kind of shoved it off.

I didn’t say anything to her but this time. She messed up by saying shit to my friends like, nahh mate that’s next level. I didn’t say anything all this time doesn’t mean am going to stay quite. I will stand up for myself and those I care about.

I went on one and made her shut her gob, so now she doesn’t really mess with me. But the bad decision she makes are by going round talking about me to others because the people she says it to are like good with me as I didn’t want to start shit with others.

In a way I started college to stay away from shit and just chill in away. Now I just can’t be bothered going as am just getting called stuff which is hurting me a lot. I can hardly look at myself and not think about what people says about me.

I hope this makes sense x