So, since I was little I got sick because I ate a fruit. Since that day I thought fruits were poison and I never ate them again. I was really scared of becoming sick by them one more time. Since then, I haven’t tried any fruit yet and I am ten years old now. I do a lot of exercise because I dance jazz and I like it so much. But, this has become a problem because I don’t get enough vitamins and things to make my body healthy and normal like other people bodies are.
I fear dying but I never make something about it. It scares me, even if it’s for my own good. When my mom picks me up after jazz she is, so kind and I know she loves me, but when I get home she’s like a demon with my eating disorder. She says that I can’t dance if I don’t eat and I KNOW THAT, but I just can’t change myself. I want to die sometimes or just kill myself. I’m really scared if I am going to live or not. It’s the worst fear. I don’t want to have to fight for health after I have committed so many damages in my body. I know I have a solution but I just, I can’t reach it. It is too far for me and I really wish I could be normal.