I live in a country named Pakistan where people are living liberal life but don’t want this for their daughter’s sister wife do be same.
My name is Sana I’m 25 years old and my parents had an arrange marriage in the beginning of my parents’ marriage they were very fighting couple so my mom took some space from my father and lived at her parents’ house where I was born after my birth my father saw me when I was 6th month old and he suddenly finds that he has a daughter whom he named “Sana” I was very boyish child having no interest in girls stuff like doll etc my parents were still very fighting but they lived together for my future.
After I completed my school & college did whatever my parents say me to do so but while completing my college I realised that I had everything I was rich to buy anything to everything but I was not happy my parents fights were breaking me from inside I was brave girl who get scared in dreams with no reason because my father drubs me when I do little mistakes after college I wanted to be an architect as I was good in study but my father said don’t study anything on which base u get nothing in future as in Pakistan parents think girls can’t do challenging work and he didn’t allowed me won’t get admission in my admiring university so I got admission in my parents favourite university n started their dream education master in business somehow I had very good friends in university so I go and hangout with them but I never told this to my family because I knew they won’t accept that and they will have negative thoughts that I’m having some affair with my boy-friends my past relationships were not so good as most of my partners were after money or sex but I never stop finding the one for whom I was created..
I always want to have love marriage and not to repeat their mistakes in 2016 my family get a proposal an arranged one who was recommended by my neighbour I never met him but I said yes because I heard he was tall and healthy his name was “Omer”.
Somehow my parents wouldn’t understand that proposal and rejected him..In2017 when I was in middle of my MBA education it was 27-may-2017 I received a message on Facebook and I saw same guy (omer) I talked to him n thought he would ask for proposal again but he didn’t he said he just told me that got married last month and I was his crush who broke his heart so he asked me why I rejected him I told him I didn’t and then we became friends he was not happy with his marriage he was married to his first cousin named (Maria) they were not in love she was very young but reserved he want us to be in relationship but I asked his mother permission because mother’s really create problems in Pakistan I fell in love and liked his honesty conversation and so I start seeing him twice in a week we were so deep in love that we didn’t know what’s happening in our surrounding and what people think about us I asked him to choose between me and his wife as he was very confused what to do in future he gave so much loved respect that I feel I was flying in sky and after time passed my parents caught our relationship my father went to his house and said there is only one possibility that u live or us but this relationship is not possible I will kill your son or mine daughter as your son is already married next day my mama meet his parents and beg him to make it stop I just ran into his house but he wouldn’t allow me to come in and asked to stay outside as he himself is handling everything few minutes later he (omer) came with his brother and mother and my mother and said, “sana I’m leaving u I’m ending this relationship so go away” after this I couldn’t bear and try to suicide I cut my hand and eat all the sleeping pills but Life gave me one more chance.
After a week he texted me with a long message saying your mother said you were having lots of relationship and you’re a thief and all those stuff is your hobby whereas (my mom used to say that he used very negative words about you things which were against you) I talked to his mother (uzma) and she said whatever happened I don’t know what to do she replied besides everything I just know nothing he was happy with you but no mother could lie especially about her child-character somehow I forgive him & tell him my whole past then he replied me that u were a neglected child and everything your mother told us was a bitter lie and I’m the only one who loves you more than anything , time passed his wife (Maria) caught that he was having relationship with me she created a huge drama and threatened him for divorce he was feeble man having no ability to control his life decisions I tried to fix the mess and I said that u two stay together I’m the one who should go try to start a new beginning (Omer) his brother in law texted me on Insta and I said same but he said “u don’t know anything about them it’s your time to get drowned in deep sea and measure its depth” that time I didn’t understand it then he congratulate me and said welcome to family right after that.
I went out of country where he (omer) message me that his divorce is done and he is single again I came back and he was very ok we met him in a coffee shop and he check my phone and suddenly he start yelling at me that I’m having an affair why I’m talking to my friends I explained everything but he was not satisfied he said sorry me and said your mother pump this in my mind so I’m over sensitive now I feel one day I’ll leave me.!
I became more responsible and caring person so I created distance with my friends but it doesn’t help much he start abusing me in one day he slapped me but he felt ashamed he keep asking for forgiveness & I keep saying its ok his family was very kind with me so I keep telling his bad habits and our conversation to his mother(uzma) and she said me to keep calm.
After few months my family wanted me to get married with a guy whom they like the most and as I keep saying “No” my parents tracked me and finds out that I didn’t end up with him (omer) my father asked for help from some gangster (black guard) to threaten (omer) them and so both families became worst enemies.
(Omer)his mother came to my house he told me just to say this in front of my parents that “I wanted to marry him daddy please accept it” but when I said so my father start beating me so badly in front of his mother because his mother said why you can’t handle your daughter whose after my son ,my son wont contact your daughter she’s the one who keep sending long love text messages I was very shocked but remain silent , my father belabour me around 7 hours locked me in a room and keep beating me every day till I became insensible faint but I keep on my word “I will only marry him” that time it was my last semester in university and he said no more university study no more mobile he took everything from me and my mother was feeling less women I keep crying and shouting day and night for help but no one helped me and one day I get chance to run from house and I did I went to his home I don’t know he was inside the house but I was having a very strong feeling that he was!
(Omer) his father wasn’t agree to open the door but his mother (uzma) opened it she didn’t allowed me to come inside and told me to sit on the floor of car-porch I was in very bad condition so I did whatever she said so , his (omer) brother came and start making video of mine as a proof on his phone I told them that I’m here to take u to my house I will convince them again n please help us we both love each other but they said no we don’t want a girl like you suddenly my parents came to take me back but his brother asked my parents to come inside but he (omer brother)threatened me to sit back in car or he will call all the respected people of my family and you will lose all your remaining respect forever I agreed on it.
While sitting in car alone I was thinking maybe they were convincing my parents I was a little bit happy that finally it’s coming to an end but when my parents came back in the car they said you were planning to run with him and u were saying if I do this my family will get insulted and they can’t do anything again I was shocked.
I feel where the hell he is and why I’m in the mess alone I wish I could get my phone back. Again I was locked in a room and now I was so quite thinking about his mother (uzma)and brother (humza) who used to say that your part of our family and we will be at your side we will help both of you why they lied to me And why my own parents said that sana is not good character girl why?
My parents said yes to the proposal whom they wanted me to get married he is nice cute guy but I never want him in my life I don’t want to talk to him I have no feelings for him.
After a month he (omer)contact me again and said now stop it (for preparation of upcoming bad time I already offered him to leave this country lets go somewhere else and have a new life) but he was not strong enough to take big decisions he was feeble man but for me nothing contest more than his love.
We became again friends after a moth of this tragic trauma but deep inside we keep loving each other but now we can’t meet , can’t talk 24/7.
My father returned me my phone so his message played oxygen part for me in the luxury cage.
So one day I sit beside my father and said daddy is it ok if I will not talk to him I won’t marry him and in return please don’t force me to marry anyone I want to stay single and alone as I’m not feeling myself normal but (my father) didn’t understand me.
He called his brother (humza) threatened him after few minutes his brother (hamza) go to police station and told them to write complain against me that I’m the one behind every mess (omer) he was there too and he was ok with it because now he said it’s not about love now it’s about my family respect both families give their written statement that no member will contact each other again especially me.
Time passes and he still contact me and say I’m a feeble man who did nothing for you your mother is a enchantress u also did nothing for us it’s better you to die or get married to that stupid man for everyone peace and safety and I fight saying “ my parents were against since day one but your parents talk to me on daily basis why they said so ridiculous stuff about me”.
Now every night I get scared in my dreams still locked in my house my parents having red eye on me I’m very upset I don’t want anyone in my life I want to go away I’m getting married this month with a man who knows nothing about me I’m lost.
Salam dear sister…hope you are fine and in good health…as a girl i can feel your pain…since my parents (specially my father) was very sincere about me to be self dependent I feel like it was the biggest blessing for me as not every girl getting a chance to prove themselves infront of the world….My point is it’s the biggest opportunity in life where you can create your own identity so that no one can force you on their decision ( like marriage or others)
As a girl it’s the biggest insecurity feeling that my parents may get me married to someone i don’t want to get married with…..So i have decided i won’t go for any love affair or anything before i complete my graduation and take myself to a good position…and i have decided i will be very open anout my opinion if i don’t want to get married to someone they want me to get married with….I think you should be more open with your parents sharing your feelings…Because no matter what…it’s your LIFE sister….and yeah I don’t think Omer is a good person as he neglected his wife as he is a man he was not forced to get married…so ofcourse he got married with her willingly…then why he is neglecting her???Be careful sister…wish you a very happy life ahead…..