I hate my life. I try to be okay with it, but I hate it. Why am I struggling so much? Why are my efforts proving to be not enough every single time. I try and try and I’m never enough.
What is my purpose for being created? To struggle my entire life? What God. What!? sighs. I’m so exhausted. Just tired of being in this phase. Where I can’t catch my breath. I’m anxious as soon as I wake, bored as fuck during the day and anxious again before bed.
I just don’t get it. Everyone around me is flourishing. I’m in no way saying they had it easy or didn’t go through their struggles but they are rising. When do I rise? When are my efforts going to be enough? When? How much more do I have to survive? And the sad part about it all you have to pretend to be okay all the time. Always stay positive. Otherwise you’re negative Nancy.
You choose to act out and end up doing something stupid you get the wrong attention, and everyone will now think a mental institution should be my new home because oh my god she’s sick, she needs help. Pity.
Fucking annoying. I just long for someone I could be myself with. No judgement. Express how I truly feel and be understood. Be told it’s okay to feel the way you’re feeling and not feel like I have to pretend to be happy go fucking lucky walking around shitting rainbows and fucking glitter all the time.
Just don’t give up. Better days are coming.
I appreciate you taking the time to give words of encouragement. Thanks! xx
To find someone who don’t judge is really hard. I myself don’t judge, I was able to get rid of that sin. Like every single day you hear and see people judge others on the street. It’s just a common thing in this sick world. But don’t mind it. You can’t change the things that are not within your power but you can change how you react to them. After while I was able to get rid of that thought of What other people think of me. I just don’t care anymore. The only way you will feel like you are enough is to set your goals and work hard to achieve them every single day. Try to get step by step closer. You don’t need to please anyone If you are satisfied with your own progress that you make every day. Try to watch some motivational videos/speakers, you can grasp a lot from them.
Thanks. *Exhales* Life is really something. Unfair. smh. I get that life is literally about ups and downs and without it we can’t learn or grow but it feel like the downs outweigh the ups and it’s becoming really frustrated and annoying. I just feel stuck; i feel like I’m screaming and no-one hears. It’s hard to stay positive in spite of. I feel like I’ve learnt what I need to in this phase I’m ready to move on. Every time I feel like I can almost touch my new beginnings something always happens smh. Life’s just fucked up sometimes..It would be easier to deal with if I had someone I could really talk to. Be myself around no matter what. I hope to find that person who I connect with on that level some day soon.