I don’t think I can live this life anymore.

I live with my grandparents because my mom went to jail for stealing and doing drugs. My dad has never been in my life because he also stole things and did drugs. My aunt does drugs but has not been caught.

My aunt and my mom are mad at me for living with my grandparents. But I can’t really live with my mom because she doesn’t have a permanent house. She relies on her boyfriends that she can’t keep longer than a month. She has moved so many times that I can’t keep track.

My mom now wants me to live with her, but I don’t want to. I’m 13 now and I can go to court, but I don’t think I can do it. My body is so stressed out I can’t concentrate in school. It’s only been 3 weeks since school started but I have so many missing or late homework pages.

My friend is getting mad at me for wanting to be friends with the new girl. She confuses me. She gets mad at me one second but the next second, she acts like nothing happened. But right now, I don’t have any other friends to turn to that don’t use me or abuse me.

I want to go to a different school but at the same time I don’t. If I stay I risk having to go to court, but if I leave I risk not having a home or nice thing, and my aunt abusing me and making up lies about me.

At this point the stress is so bad I want to kill myself. But I can’t let anyone know or they will spread rumours and then I will have to do counselling and then move in with my mom. It is SO hard to keep a happy face all the time in front of everyone.

Can I get some advice on what to do? Literally at this point anything helps.