Last year my best friend sexually assaulted me, and I found myself missing him every day and not knowing why I missed him. Part of me did know it was that fact that until that moment both our lives revolved around each other. Whatever he did I usually always tagged along and whatever I did he tagged along for. So almost all my amazing fun memory’s involving friends was with him.
A year later the trial happened and even though I didn’t want to see him there was a part of me that still missed him. That was a month ago. Now every time I see him I either want to hit him or scream at him and yet I’m still missing him. It like no matter what I’ll always miss him. And now because of him it is making me doubt every guy I know even the ones who are really nice.
There is a big part that thinks I’m depressed. I mean I know I probably am. After what he did I only cried once and since all I thought about was how I hate myself for trusting him or how it might have been my fault because I changed my shirt in my room even though he was also in there.! I keep blaming myself for everything and then when I wake the halls of my school and see him happy it just makes me blame myself more which then just makes me even more sad.