You know what is depressing? Starting the same sentence over and over again because nobody is listening and then just dropping it as it is clear that they don’t care, and it doesn’t matter what I have to say to them because everything that comes out of my mouth is just dumb or annoying. Making people want to “punch” or “stab” me. I know that I shouldn’t care but I do. Only one person understands me and it’s myself.
I think it’s due time that I kept everything to myself no matter what it is. Just stop talking to people. Become the person who everyone doesn’t want to hear. Oh, wait I already am… Sometimes I just feel as though I’m not even wanted, that I should just leave, that I am just not noticed. I try to be happy and I’m annoying but when I become silent, completely to myself with a face that shows no emotion I am suddenly there, they ask what is wrong, but I say nothing is and that I’m fine, but I really aren’t because I feel pushed away, that nobody likes me.
My life is just depressing, lonely, falling apart with nothing holding it together anymore. The “stitches” are breaking. It’s just going to shatter again, into a million pieces and this time can’t be fixed. Too many times I have been broken, slowly healed and then broken once more. I can’t handle the stress anymore.