I don’t know if this is just me or it happens to everyone. At times I’m so happy that I forget every hurdle that life’s thrown my way, and at times life seems so horrible that I just wish that the world would just zoom out and I just want to go and die in some corner. it’s like no one cares. The people u think love u the most are the ones that are just secretly killing you. And the worst part is that no matter what, you can’t run away cause you love them so much and you can’t block them out cause you’ve made them a part of your survival. It’s like they’re the air you breathe and without them, you’ll suffocate.
It just hurts so damn much when you think that the one person you love, the one person for which you sacrificed everything, the one person you made your life revolve around, that one person just keeps letting you down. And it doesn’t matter how many times they let you down cause you’ll always end up forgiving them cause you love them with all your heart.
I never thought that I could change so much for one person. I never thought that I’d become a different person. And even after that, I’m still not good enough. I guess there is no such word as “enough”. Even after changing myself, time changed me. It made me into someone that’s just used to constant pain. Used to crying herself to sleep. I don’t even care if I cry in public anymore cause the person that should’ve cared couldn’t see how much I loved him. I just daze off into thinking about stuff that just makes me regret everything. Makes me regret loving someone so much. Makes me regret having said yes. Makes me guilty for letting my heart shatter to a million pieces to the point that I’ve just given up on even trying to put it back together.
I just never thought loving could hurt so much. If I knew I would’ve never loved anyone…