I miss you so much. What I did was a mistake but just a mental one and I never meant any of it. I miss you so much.
I have never spent more nights staring at the wall, regretting it all. Living a life without your love makes it not worth it. I cannot function without your love.
I am broken. Inside and out. The feeling is indescribable. I had no idea it was possible to develop such a connection with someone. I had no idea I finally had love. I was unaccustomed to the feeling and became scared by it. This intensity. The love. The vulnerability.
Ah, the vulnerability…. knowing I was beside someone who I was completely vulnerable to. Knowing in one instant you had the power to change my life drastically. The vulnerability is where the love developed. I had never been vulnerable…only with you. And I still am.
There is not a day I have not thought of you 50 times…every morning I pray I will have some hopeful message from you…but day after day I slowly grow numb to the pain of knowing it is all over…. for good. The days with you remain empty. And so, do I. I love you so much…you are the only person I have ever loved.
Someone who can do anything in the world to me and I will still love forever because my love is endless for you and always will be. You are the best human in this world, and I will always believe that. You are the person I attribute to every love song, show, and movie. We did everything together.
The love was surreal. It was the happiest time of my life. I only wish you could feel what I’m feeling…it is the lowest I have ever felt. That is why I do dumb stuff and why I act out. My emotions are completely fucked and so is my decision making. My only good decision ever was talking to you. I’m going to write about you again tomorrow. This is finally a somewhat decent way to talk about my feelings and emotions and thoughts because it is only harmful talking to others about it………I love you forever and ever