All good things in my life a just temporary. Since I finished high school my life has been a cycle on the same things. School wise, job wise, relationship wise and family wise. My heart is tired, my mind is damaged, my emotions are all over the place coz it’s the same things happening over and over
I’ve been dropping out or not being able to attend school for the same reasons. Finances or having to stay at home and watch the kids. Didn’t realise how this could affect my life because girls my age have degrees, jobs or businesses. I’m just stuck with my matric, watching the kids, not being able to take care of my daughter, drinking and crying almost everyday
I can’t even get a job, the closest thing i’ve had to a job was promotions, i’ve had a few opportunities but not having the right qualification or experience led to me being unemployed. I’ve applied for learnerships and got rejected or no response… I’m guess I’m not good enough lol. I know how bad it looks on me, it seems as though I’m lazy or I don’t want to do anything, but i’ve been trying and getting tired now. My sister’s husband also tried helping a few times to get a job where he works but no luck. Even when I had submitted the cv myself and told them and I was sent by him, I still couldn’t get a job
I’m a failure. I’ve failed myself, my daughter and my mother (rest her soul)
I’ve failed myself by letting my life get to nowhere and fighting hard enough to reach my goals. I don’t even know myself anymore, i’ve lost all faith in me and it hurts so much.