I feel forgettable,
Is it social media or the truth?
Maybe it is the newest enactment of survival of the fittest.
Those who succeed will be showered with likes and encouragement.
While others will be left to disappear toward the bottom of the feed with a few likes from their most loyal.
Should I chalk it up to society, or should I take responsibility?
And say that the problem is me?
I’m not particularly fashionable.
I’m not changing the world.
I did not win awards or join clubs.
My weight is average, but my proportions are not something to talk about.
I reach out to others with little return.
I say to myself: don’t take it personal, it is all appearance, you have value, etc.
But what if i am lying to myself as a survival mechanism.
I put on the charade of being someone who deserves to be on this earth, but maybe I am wasting the oxygen of others more worthy.
I do not feel depressed. I would say I am content.
I’ve just allowed myself to assume my true identity as a socially awkward,lonely girl with no dreams.
I feel like I fought so long in my life to matter, to no avail.
I do not think it is fair that I had to fight in the first place.
Everyone who tries their best to be a positive force in this world should matter.
MAYBE it is “first world problems”, but it still hurts to feel like an empty shell.
The pain and fear of being unforgettable is my personal hell.
But do not try to encourage me, tell me to seek help, or tell me what to do because If you knew me, you might forget me too.