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I have realised that my first love will always remain as the love of my life

I fell in love with a guy who I can’t even be with. It was love at first sight. The first time I saw him was on his friend’s wedding. I thought that he’s just a nice guy. But as days went by and right through to after the wedding, I kept on seeing him.

Every day I would sleep thinking about how the way he looked into my eyes and then woke up thinking how I am going to fit ‘seeing him’ into my day. I couldn’t tell him that I love him. But the way he looked at me was different. He was everywhere on the wedding. I didn’t realise that I need to distance myself from him. When the whole wedding and pre-wedding days were over- we hardly ever saw each other. I miss him.

I know where he is during the day and I sometimes try walking past so that I can at least look at him again. And still he looks at me with his gorgeous eyes once again. Not just a normal look. A look that blew me away. Almost as though even he feels the same way. As though he is also afraid to say anything because we’re not meant to be.

I didn’t expect this guy to say anything? I couldn’t say anything although I had a lot to say. He’s a decent bloke with a respective authority. I couldn’t approach him. I was afraid that if I speak to him then the love that I already had would also be lost. Now I have realised that my first love will always remain as the love of my life. Even though I can never have him- I will never forget him or hate him, and instead I will cherish every moment of when he looked into my eyes.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for falling in love with you. It wasn’t how I planned. I’m not supposed to love you. I’m not supposed to care. I’m not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I’m not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do. I’m sorry I just can’t help myself, I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU.

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