I want to curl up and cry until I fall asleep and don’t wake up anymore. I want to hurt myself but I’m too afraid of physical pain.
I can’t stop procrastinating, every fucking thing wrong in my life is my fault, I have anxiety because of this, I’m a failure on every point of view, if I didn’t exist my family and my friends would have a weight and disappointment less.
Even writing this I’m wasting time that I could spend studying, but instead I continue to cry and feel useless.
I just want to stop existing.
Don’t be hard on yourself we all have our bad days. It sucks for you but it sucks more for others. Don’t let anyone to tell you what you’re suppose to be or what are you suppose to do. You are the one who give orders to yourself . Don’t ever think about hurting yourself, because your love to yourself should be way stronger than that despite whatever is happening. In a matter of days , months or years you will be the one responsible of yourself you will meet new people you will know things that never crossed your mind. Don’t force yourself on studying study with love study now to be in a better place later. Take care of yourself and your mental health. It’s never a shame to open up to someone or even ask for help. Your mental health is the most important thing in your life. Love yourself to live a happy life. It’s never too late to start again and begin a happy life. Everyday you are a new born person . Everyday you can make a decision that may change your life. I don’t know what you are going through but i assure you that it will get better trust me it will because simply life cann’t be bad or good forever. We have to go through bad days to appreciate the good ones. Create your own happenise and throw out who ever annoy you from your life. Life is too short to spent pretending loving someone we don’t love. You matter. You really matter love yourself . It’s going to take time but do something you will thank yourself for it later.
I feel exactly the same way ??
Im 49 and feel that way too. I have a wonderful gf whom ive been with for almost 12yrs and i feel like i disappoint her daily. I act like i dont aporeciate her and do things that would make most women break up with their man yet she still sticks by my side. I dont want to be with her yet i dont want to be alone either so i stay. I know im selfish but when i tried to end things with her about 6yrs ago she tried commiting suicide so i stayed with her.