I am in fact a lucky person, a university student who has friends, family, and people who care about him. I am studying what I’d been dreaming of since high school. I must say I am grateful and should be happy with things I have, but I’m not, and this makes it even worse as not only I’m unhappy but also I feel guilty and ungrateful about it.
I consider myself to be relatively intelligent, and I think about many things, especially in a philosophical manner. During the past couple of years, however, the life of my family has changed drastically (which nobody knows); as a result, we have moved away from my home town. What has happened is I have become the only help and hope my parents have.
I can’t talk to anyone about the problems in my life, not even with my parents. The amount of mental pressure I’ve been bearing is somewhat unimaginable. All I ask for is someone to talk to. Someone to have in arms while she whispers to my ears she will become my hope. I am losing all power I have to keep standing for my family who I care for the most, but I can feel my knees bending.
I have never been with anyone because of my philosophy in life. I don’t want something superficial; I’m not talking about marriage or something long-term, but I feel it is not fair to her and myself If we both don’t enjoy every moment we have together. In this way, however, I am alone, and seeking love in my life. I’m getting crushed from within and outside. God, if there’s one, help me.