I don’t know if this is right to do or not.
But i am really stressed right now. So today my grandmother expired, she we suffering from liver failure and was admitted to hospital around 1 week ago.
We were close. She used to love me infinitely and I did that too in return. But when I got his news today I become extremely sad but to my surprise I didn’t even cry.
I tried extremely hard to cry but I didn’t. All people around me were crying my mother, my father, relatives even my little sister. But i didn’t. I don’t know why. I am feeling extremely bas. I think i am selfish,
I loved her so much . BUT I DON’T KNOW WHY I DIDN’T CRY. I AM FEELING EXTREMELY PITY ON MYSELF. PLEASE HELP ME .
Your reaction is not unusual. For many people, the tears come later.
There are plenty of possible explanations:
Perhaps you are the family caregiver and have the habit of keeping it together while everyone in your family falls apart?
Perhaps you are not in a safe place to fall apart. Are your family members “safe people”?
Perhaps your mourning ritual is different- something deeper and richer? Your grandmother may be worthy of something bigger than tears?
Perhaps you don’t know what your mourning ritual is yet?
Please dont judge yourself too harshly.
You have that back end understanding of her expiry. Reason it out for what to cry on? Soul is neither born nor dies. Grandma will turn into dust.