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I can’t say if I’m happy or not exactly

I can’t say if I’m happy or not exactly. You can call it mixed feelings or whatever. So I was in a 3 years relationship with my ex and he’s my first love from high school.

Everything was butterflies and rainbows and honestly there were some severe storms too. We’ve broken up and patched up and still loved each other the exact same way no matter what happened.

I loved him so much but the question is do I still ? I don’t know what to reply to that! 2/3 months after our break up ( which was a mutual break indeed and later on led to a serious break up where both of us were hurt) I met this guy and he was perfect.

Everything I ever wanted. The Prince Charming kind of guy in real life. I wasn’t still over my ex when he fell in love with me, I panicked I told him it’s not love !

You cannot fall in love with me in just a month, it takes so much more than that!! ( I told him so because I realised I was in love for the first time almost after a year of our relationship).

I know it was not right for me to tell him / judge him about his feelings but I didn’t know what else to say. He was my bestfriend that time. He told me I could have as much time as I wanted and it’s okay for me to not feel the same way about him. After a month or so I started to realise I was falling for him. And I still missed my ex , a lot, every night I used to stay woke late and cry or reminisce about the old times. And today I’m in a relationship with my bestfriend.

It’s been 4 and I think I still love my ex and I rushed things up. I don’t know what to do. I can either end up hurting myself or the two most important people who I love so much. I don’t know what to do.

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