I am Neesha, at my successful 21 plus 2 years of adventurous experience. It’s a Sunday evening. What a beautiful, romantic weather outside but there is an emptiness inside. This is my first piece of writing, I don’t know what to share and what not to….wishing u won’t get bored with my story.
I had a beautiful career in studies till my graduation and since then, I have been wandering, seeking a purpose in my life. For the past 2 years, my search had led me visit cities, just to follow what people asked me to do. Now I am pursuing my post graduation and working as an Intern in a MNC core industry. But in my personal side of my life, I feel so low. I don’t have any friends near me with whom I can roam outside… Weekends are the most boring time. When girls of my age keep dating their boyfriends, shopping the ultimatum or some spend time with their family on weekends, I am alone, away from friends, family and love.
I just feel like crying with me and my loneliness seeing each other all day and night. My friends suggest me to have some guys to add the spice in my life. But I feel…are you nuts??Do people get boys just like that? Someone suggested me to join a dating site. I even tried that. But it was yakkk…. I am not a kid at her 16 to do all such crap things fooling myself. I felt it was so immature to search a friend in a dating site and deleted my account within half an hour of creation of my account in the dating site. I had been in relationships earlier….one 8 years long relationship since my school days and the other lasted for a few months. But none of them reached climax. Luckily for me, the guys in my life….both of them were good, genuine and loved me sincerely. But it never worked between us till the end….The main reason somewhere behind being…..my family. I hail from a quite restrictive Indian above-middle-class family, blessed with the so-much-caring parents and me being their only sweetest daughter. But my parents believe love is a sin. Although I had real, true, sincere feelings for my boyfriends, but I couldn’t continue just for the fact that I am going to hurt my parents at the end. I don’t blame my parents either as I believe they are not wrong at their place. Today’s world is so falsified and people in it are so fake….The people I meet, I don’t trust anyone. I keep searching the negativity in them, expecting that they are just flirting and ending up in being alone once again. I am fat and not so-good looking. And when people praise me, I get really annoyed on them. Because I know they are all faking at my face. I’m still in search for a friend.
Now I need a company, a friend, a shoulder on whom I can trust and rely with no regrets, expectations or grant. I have tried shopping, watching movies in laptop, listening to music, spending money, eating, talking for hours on phone to friends and family, moving to places, reading and surfing the internet for nothing and everything. But I am still not happy at heart. I don’t know what to do. I started writing this and thought of sharing y story with you….and that’s me.
Thank you!