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I don’t know where to begin

I don’t know where to begin…. should it be when or how I met him? Should it be about how I thought I would never be where I am now? I guess I could blame my parents for not letting us be together, not letting me get married to him because things would have bean much better right now I would have already been married and pregnant but the thing is I’m not married and I am pregnant.. I battle every day thinking what should I do should I get an abortion leave him and just give my mom what she wants I’ll probably end up depressed so depressed I might start using drugs.. or should I marry him go against my parents keep this little baby I have inside me right now and just live.. some people may wonder why didn’t they let him marry you? Well here’s the thing it’s a bit racist.. we are Russian and well he’s Mexican.. but that’s just a part of it my parents are also Christian like sting believers and what I did is a big sin.. one more thing no one but my mom and sister in law know.. how do I tell my dad??.. I think I need to just marry him and then announce my pregnancy to dad brothers and everyone. I’m so lost and confused.. This morning my mom total broke down.. She was still in bed and just crying saying she wants to dye and my dad was just so lost because he does not know what’s going on.. I want to keep this child it’s mine but family is breaking me apart .. I feel alone.

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