Last year I met someone during a club meeting that I immediately became interested in. This person was obviously good-looking but seemed very shy and awkward. I don’t think I’m very good looking but I AM very outgoing. Except when it comes to the opposite sex. At the age of 21, I’ve never had a s/o for this same reason. In this case, I decided to be brave and talk to the other person. I thought I would be awkward with this person but as soon as we started talking, we got along very well. At the end of the meeting, I decided to ask for their contact info… which they gave me. Man it felt good. I had been scared to pursue anything my whole life that I never even bothered but the one time I put myself out there, things worked out.
For the next few months, this person and I would talk everyday through txt and I was seriously the happiest person ever. We hung out during the same club meetings where we met and then some. I began to realize though, that every time we hung out was because I would ask to do so. I mean, they never turned me down but they never tried to ask themselves. I told myself it was probably because they were so shy. We hung out with my friends once and they noticed how this person was very awkward around anyone in the group but me so I concluded it was probably because they were shy.
It could have been that this person only saw me as a friend but the contents of our conversation were always very personal. I told this person a lot of things I would only tell to very close friends and they seemed to do the same. I thought we had at least SOMETHING going. Since I didn’t have ANY experience what’s so ever, I talked to a friend and they told me this person was confusing even to them. Why would anyone who is not interested bother talking to someone so often on such levels? I held out hope.
A while ago this person stopped talking to me altogether. At first, I felt really good. I thought, GOOD RIDENCE since I started to realize how one-sided the efforts were. But as time has passed, I look back at our old conversations and feel extremely sad. I find myself thinking about this person as much as I did in the beginning and wonder “what if I had just told them how I felt”. But then I think that they obviously didn’t feel the same since they stopped talking to me. I also think about it and feel that since this person tends to be shy and awkward around most people, they saw me as just an easy person to get along with. I should be studying right now but instead im typing this wondering if meeting them was the worst or best thing that would have happened to me. I mean, right now I’m sad, but the whole time we were talking, I felt happy.